Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Chloë Grace Moretz: Mindy Macready, Hit Girl

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mindy Macready : Hit me.

  Dave Lizewski : You're a 15-year-old girl.

  [Mindy slaps Dave] 

  Dave Lizewski : What the hell?

  [Mindy slaps Dave again] 

  Mindy Macready : Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.

• [Mindy kisses Dave] 

  Dave Lizewski : What was that?

  Mindy Macready : That was my first kiss. Be nice or I'll rip your ass out through your mouth.

• Mindy Macready : If I ever catch you robbing again, shit-burger, I'm going to go to Saudi Arabia on your ass and cut your hand off. Promise me you're done with a life of crime?

  Alley Hood : I-I promise.

  [grabs a knife but quickly has his hand severed] 

  Mindy Macready : Pants on fire.

• Mindy Macready : You don't have to be a bad-ass to be a superhero, Dave. You just have to be brave.

• Mindy Macready : Game on, cocksuckers.

• Dave Lizewski : I want to team up, like Batman and Robin.

  Mindy Macready : Nobody wants to be Robin.

  Dave Lizewski : What's wrong with Robin? Weren't you like Big Daddy's Robin?

  Mindy Macready : Okay, Robin wishes he was me.

  Dave Lizewski : What I'm trying to say is we should be partners, you and me, like the dynamic duo.

  Mindy Macready : I'm in the NFL, Dave, and you play pee-wee.

  Dave Lizewski : So train me. I want to walk the walk, and you're the closest thing I know to a real superhero. Aren't you tired of being on your own? Don't you want to know someone's there for you? Someone who's got your back?

• Mindy Macready : [in Russian, to Mother Russia]  I would've thought a cunt like you could handle all those pricks.

• Harlow : Maybe she's a dyke.

  Mindy Macready : Maybe I'll jam my foot up your snatch.

• [first lines] 

  Mindy Macready : A handgun bullet travels at more than 700 miles per hour.

  [Mindy pulls a gun out] 

  Dave Lizewski : Hey, whoa! Absolutely not! No.

  Mindy Macready : Look, if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it.

  Dave Lizewski : Okay, good. I don't want to do it!

  Mindy Macready : Fine.

  [Mindy shoots Dave in the chest] 

• The Tumor : Eat a dick!

  Mindy Macready : You're going to eat yours if you don't start talking.

  The Tumor : Go ahead and shoot me, you little bitch. There's nothing you can do to make me talk.

  [Mindy pistol whips The Tumor] 

  Dave Lizewski : Hold on. I can't do this right now. It's my dad's funeral.

  Mindy Macready : Dave, your father loved you... just like my daddy loved me, and I know it hurts but maybe... maybe that's the real meaning of being a superhero. It's taking that pain and turning it into something good. Something right. Remember what you told me? This is your life. You've got to live it. Now help me find some pliers. I'm going to make this guy eat his own dick.

  The Tumor : Seriously?

• Mother Russia : Are you ready to die, little girl?

  Mindy Macready : I might be, if I have to keep looking at that shit stain you call a face.

• Brooke : Hi, Detective Williams! This must be Mindy.

  Detective Marcus Williams : It is. Hi, Brooke. So, you girls have some fun and I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?

  Mindy Macready : I'll be the one with the slit wrists.

• Dave Lizewski : You're not scared to die?

  Mindy Macready : Are you scared you're never gonna grow into your big boy pants?

  Dave Lizewski : I'm serious. What if Spider-Man or Batman got killed one night? Like, it could happen.

  Mindy Macready : If you're scared of dying, one thing is certain - you are going to die. My daddy was never afraid of dying.

  Dave Lizewski : Look where that got him.

  Mindy Macready : He knew he might have to make the ultimate sacrifice one day, and that's why he made me promise I'd never stop defending this city. Cross my heart, hope to die.

  Dave Lizewski : Your dad was insane. You know that, right?

  Mindy Macready : You're wrong, Dave. My daddy was the first real superhero. Not you or Red Mist. It was my daddy, and it was an honor to serve by his side.

• Detective Marcus Williams : [after catching Mindy as Hit Girl]  Your father was like a brother to me. He was a great cop and a hero, but Big Daddy - that was not your father. Okay? That was someone who robbed you of your childhood. And this... Hit Girl... That's not who you are. You are Mindy Macready, and you're just starting high school. I understand that you don't know who that person is yet, but you will. You just gotta try.

  Mindy Macready : I don't want to.

  Detective Marcus Williams : You don't know what you want. You can't. You're not an adult. Not yet.

  Mindy Macready : Yeah, wel,l I've done more in my fifteen years than most adults have in their lifetime.

  Detective Marcus Williams : That note that your father gave you, the one that you were supposed to open if anything ever happened to him, what'd it say?

  Mindy Macready : That you would take care of me.

  Detective Marcus Williams : And that you were supposed to listen to me, right? Well, listen up. I want you in school, I want you to stop talking to that boy, and I want you to promise me that this is never going to happen again.

  Mindy Macready : [after long pause]  Cross my heart, hope to die.

• [from trailer] 

  Mindy Macready : Oh, take your tampon out... Dave!

• Mindy Macready : [after watching Union J's music video]  What the fuck was that?

  Dolce : I know, right? I'm soaked!

  Brooke : That... that is who you are, Mindy. You may not dress like us or talk like us, but when it comes to boys, we're all the same. Twilight, Channing Tatum, Union J... it's biology, bitch. Don't fight it.

  Mindy Macready : I, um... I gotta go.

  Dolce : But we were going to go get high on bath salts at Logan's house!

• Mindy Macready : Tell him you're on your way to fuck his mother with a 12-inch strap-on.

• Mindy Macready : You're gonna need a bigger jar.

• Mindy Macready : So what should I do? Cut their tongue out?