Californication (TV Series)

The Recused (2011)

David Duchovny: Hank Moody

Quotes 

• Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : You seem to be in pretty good shape. Where do you work out? You do the steps?

  Hank Moody : The steps?

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : In Santa Monica. It's quite a scene; lots of lovely ladies. You can really make a day out of it.

  Hank Moody : Yeah... yeah...

  [looks around aimlessly] 

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : What's up? Need something?

  Hank Moody : No, I'm just thinking... if I wanted to hang myself, do you think this chandelier here will support my weight? About 175, 180.

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : Got an interesting sense of humor, Hank.

  Hank Moody : That's what they tell me, Lloyd Alan Philips Jr.

• Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : I'll take care of you.

  Hank Moody : Thank you, Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. I feel safe with you.

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : What are you reading right now?

  Hank Moody : What am I... reading?

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : What's on your nightstand right now?

  Hank Moody : That's an interesting question. Um, bottle of Heineken, pack of smokes, The Accommodator.

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : The Accommodator... like a novel?

  Hank Moody : No, no, it's more like a sex toy. A dildo essentially, only you strap it to your head so that the dong part juts out from your chin. It enables you to accommodate your lady by performing oral and penetrado at the same time.

  [performs a visual demonstration] 

  Lloyd Alan Philips Jr. : Interesting.

  Hank Moody : I think it's very interesting. I could hook you up.

• Abby Rhodes : We had sex. You made me come.

  Hank Moody : Don't sell yourself short. I invited you to come. You did all the rest.