Bite Marks (2011)
David Alanson Bradberry: Vogel
Photos
Quotes
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[a vampire licks the window]
Vogel : That's wrong on so many levels!
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Cary : Why don't they just break through the window?
Vogel : Zombies are too weak.
Cary : They're not zombies. Zombies don't run.
Vogel : What about in Dawn of the Dead?
Cary : The zombies didn't run in Dawn of the Dead.
Vogel : The remake.
Cary : Phfft! The remake!
Vogel : I know... the original had subtext. You know what else the original had? Blue zombies! You have to admit, the first ten minutes of the remake were...
Cary : Hey, how much did you pay to see the remake? Twelve bucks? Kind of expensive for ten good minutes, huh?
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Vogel : What I don't get is with all these sucker fuckers around, why did only one vampire attack the mechanic? Why didn't they gang-fang him like they did McDougall?
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Vogel : C'mon, toothy! Take a bite! Who's your dentist!
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Vogel : C'mon, fanghead! I'm juicy!
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Brewster : Cary? Isn't that a girl's name?
Cary : Different spelling.
Brewster : Right! How often do you have to spell it?
Cary : There are lots of guys named Cary.
Brewster : Name one.
Vogel : Cary Grant
Brewster : Name another.
Cary : Cary Elwes.
Brewster : Who the fuck is Cary Elwes?
Cary : Hello? Princess Bride!
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[there are vampires outside the truck]
Cary : They might not be able to get in anyway, without being invited.
Vogel : That didn't work in The Return of Count Yorga.
Cary : Of course not, that was American International.
Vogel : So?
Cary : So each movie makes its own rules. None of it is grounded in reality.
Vogel : I saw one get killed by a bolt of lightning in Scars of Dracula.
Cary : Now, that is just stupid.
Brewster : If either of you mentions Twilight, I'll throw ya out the cab!
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Vogel : If you see anything with pointy teeth and a 38-inch chest, yell out.
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Vogel : Down for the count... Count.
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Vogel : Can vampires make you shit your pants? Cuz I think I'm about to!
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Vogel : Man, think of all the hits I'd get if this was on You Tube!
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Vogel : I hate closet-cases! Even dead ones!
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Vogel : Burning vampire smells like a flaming bag of spicy dog shit.