Sausage Party (2016)
Jonah Hill: Carl
Photos
Quotes
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Carl : They're eating CHILDREN! Fucking CHILDREN!
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Potato : [singing] Oh, Danny Boy... The pipes, the pipes are call...
[Potato's stomach gets sliced off]
Potato : Ack! JESUS FUCK!
[Potato continues to get his skin sliced off]
Potato : Oh! God, me skin! She's peelin' me fuckin' skin!
Carl : What the FUCK?
[Potato is about to be put in a pot full of boiling water]
Potato : Jesus, you fuckin' whore! Me eyes! THEY BURN!
[gurgles and dies]
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Frank , Barry , Carl : [singing with the other sausages] In here, we keep our wieners in our packages. That's how it is.
Brenda : [singing with the other buns] It sucks, but that's the way our butts keep fresh and pure. Baby, baby.
Frank , Barry , Carl : But once we're out the doors, it's not a sin.
Brenda : For us to let you slip it in.
Frank , Barry , Carl : In other words, we finally get to fuck!
Brenda : And love!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And hug!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And feel!
Frank , Barry , Carl : And fuck!
Brenda : And share!
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Carl : Look at these big ol' buns!
[wolf whistles getting their attention]
Carl : Ye-ah, you know it, baby! Work those buns! All of you, all day, ur-day, lined up, waiting to get filled with my meat!
Brenda : Yeah. Right, Carl. You really think any of these buns are gonna line up to get filled by you? Here's my impression of that happening: 'Oh! Oh! Is he in there yet? Oh, I can't feel him! I don't think he's in there! Oh, wait he is!' It's so sad! I bet you jackrabbit for a quick fifteen seconds.
[jackrabbits mockingly]
Brenda : And then you slump over.
[Carl glares at her]
Brenda : [laughs] I mean, honestly, guys! Who in this package would ever let Carl get up in them?
[Another bun raises their hand]
Brenda : Roberta, put your fucking hand down! You're ruining my joke. See? Nobody. That's who.
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Honey Mustard : You're celebrating your doom! Wake up! They're lying to your fucking faces! The Great Beyond is bullshit! Why is anybody listening to me?
Frank : Hey. Buddy, are you all right?
Honey Mustard : No! I'm not all right. It's all a lie. Everything you've been told, everything you believe in.
Carl : Hey, Honey Mustard, you're acting cray cray!
Brenda : Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, What is he, Honey? Is he mustard? It's like make up your mind or just kill yourself.
Honey Mustard : You fucking idiots! I've been there, I've seen that shit and there ain't no way I'm going back.
Frank : Wait, wait, wait, wait. You've been to the Great Beyond?
Honey Mustard : 'Great' my asshole! Everything we've ever known is a dirt covered pile of shit. Jacking off in our fucking faces. Covering our eyes with their cum, so cum covered we can't fucking see! We don't know! We don't know, they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
Brenda : Dude, shut up! The gods are gonna hear you talking about that.
Honey Mustard : They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice... FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.
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[first lines]
Frank : [notices the shoppers entering the Shopwell's] Shit!
[turns to Carl]
Frank : Carl? Carl? Carl, Carl, Carl! Dude, we've slept in again! The song's about to start!
Carl : Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song!
[to Barry]
Carl : Barry, wake up!
Barry : What? I'm up, I'm up!
Frank : This song is such an awesome way to start every morning.
Carl : It's just a super nice way of showing the gods how much we appreciate everything they'll do for us, once they take us out those doors to the Great Beyond.
Barry : I love this so fucking much.
Frank : Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Corn's about to start singing!
[turns to Corn]
Frank : Drop it, Corn! You've got the best voice!
Carl : You're the man, Corn! You fucking rule! Take it away, bro!
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[American Cheese gets grated all over the Tortilla Chips]
Carl : Cheese! You don't deserve that!
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Carl : [after being insulted by Brenda] Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cunt.
Frank : Shut up! She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.
Carl : Dude, I just don't why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns out there.
Frank : Because I believe in bun-ogamy. I'm a bun-ogamist, and when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.
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Frank : Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?
[chuckles]
Frank : Sorry about those guys. such fucking dicks, right?
Carl : Oh, I can hear you, dude.
Frank : [turns to Carl] Shut up, fuck you.
[turns back to Brenda]
Frank : So, uh, Tomorrow's the big day, huh?
[chuckles]
Frank : You and me, finally gonna be official.
Brenda : I'm so happy, the Gods put our packages together.
Frank : Because, we belong together.
Frank : It's like, we were made for each other.
Frank : I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw-dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty fucking nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so.
[chuckling]
Brenda : Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am.
Frank : Oh, sweet fucking fuck. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But, I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you.
Brenda : Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Frank , Brenda : Just the tips?
Brenda : I can't believe we're doing this.
Frank : I know. We're so naughty.
Brenda : It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips.
Frank : No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
[Frank and Brenda tries to touching the tips]
Frank : Oh, yeah. Go in. Put it in there.
Brenda : Big tip.
Frank : Oh, you wouldn't dare.
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Carl : [as they attempt to escape from the window] Okay, little buddy, jump on the count of three! One, two...
[a slicing knife is heard followed by Carl's scream]
Barry : Carl?
Carl : [groaning in difficulty] Bar-ry...
Barry : Carl to Bar, what? What are you saying, Carl?
[the knife's blade impales through Carl's stomach]
Barry : Oh, God, no! Oh! Oh, God, Carl!
[Camille's knife slashes him upwards]
Barry : CARL!
Carl : [face splits in half, dies] Barry...
Barry : Carl! Dear sweet Carl! What have they done to you, Carl? No!
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[Frank, Carl, Barry and Troy notices that an evil manager named Darren comes to the Sausages and Buns bin]
Frank : SHIT! It's the Dark Lord!
Carl : Oh no! He's coming!
Old Pork Sausage : No, wait! I'm still fresh, I swear! I'm still fresh!
[Darren takes the screaming Old Pork Sausage and throws it away in the garbage]
Carl : Did he see us?
Frank : No way!
Troy : We're fucked, bros!
Barry : Oh God! No! Take anyone, but us! Please!
[Darren takes the wrong Fancy Dogs]
