The Trip (TV Series)

The Inn at Whitewell (2010)

Steve Coogan: Steve

Quotes 

• Steve : No, that's been done, Rob. That's been done before.

  Rob : It's 2010! Everything has been done before. All you can do is do something someone's done before, but do it better, or differently.

  Steve : To some extent that's... correct.

• [Steve and Rob are booked into a double room at the Inn] 

  Rob Brydon : This is a huge bed. We could easily share this bed.

  Steve Coogan : It might be huge to you, it's average size to me.

  Rob Brydon : Oh that's right, I forgot, you're considerably taller. What's the problem, anyway? What do you think's gonna happen? Eh?

  Steve Coogan : You might touch my bottom.

  Rob Brydon : Oh, all right. Were you an altar boy?

  Steve Coogan : Yes, I was.

  Rob Brydon : Seriously?

  Steve Coogan : Yes.

  Rob Brydon : Oh, all right. Well, I'll go on the sofa if you want, if it's... Sorry, I didn't realise we were into Oprah Winfrey territory. Are you seriously saying you were abused as a child when you were an altar boy?

  Steve Coogan : Only verbally, and physically. Not sexually. Just punched by a priest.

• [In a restaurant, Rob has ordered scallops, Steve has ordered tomato soup] 

  Rob Brydon : Mmm. What's your's like?

  Steve Coogan : Well, it tastes of tomatoes.

  Rob Brydon : Not a connoisseur, are you, with food?

  Steve Coogan : Look, the reason I was doing this trip was to bring Mischa along. She's passionate about food, she loves food.

  Rob Brydon : She's the food buff then, out of the two of you?

  Steve Coogan : She's a very confident foodie and I thought she could help me, and I wanted to show Mischa the... you know, the North. Show her a piece of me.

  Rob Brydon : You're from Manchester. You could take her round and show her the gun crime sites.

• Steve Coogan : [after another of Rob's impressions]  I think anyone over 40 who amuses themself by doing impressions needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror.

• Rob Brydon : [as Al Pacino]  Maybe you're right. I don't know. But I see a guy who has something stuck up his ass, who's too uptight to let go.

  Steve Coogan : No, I like humour, I like levity, I like brevity. I just like to...

  Rob Brydon : Gravity? Where do you stand on that?

  Steve Coogan : Firmly. On terra firma.

• Steve's UK Agent : [over the phone]  Where exactly are you at the moment?

  Steve Coogan : I'm in the Trough of Bowland. Rather appropriately, Greg, I'm in a trough. Literally and metaphorically.