- Ashley Sera: What is this?
- Chad Morgan: That would be an ax, dear. A bladed tool commonly used to chop wood.
- Chad Morgan: Wait, I don't get it? What does this have to do with spiders?
- Jordan Shelby: The spiders... are how it starts.
- Dixon Rampart: I'm Jordan's friend, sometimes roommate, Dixon Rampart.
- Chad Morgan: [laughing] Dixon?
- Dixon Rampart: Yeah, Dixon. As in "my dick's in your mouth", you got a problem with that?
- Mr. Reed: Let me see if I got this straight. You say you saw someone outside your house in the middle of the night looking at you through your window. What makes you think it was me?
- Chad Morgan: I saw you.
- Mr. Reed: Did you? I mean, did you really? Don't you think maybe in your drowsy, half-awake state of mind you may have seen someone else who looks like me? Or maybe you didn't see anyone at all.
- Chad Morgan: No, I know what I saw and it was you.
- Mr. Reed: Oh yeah? Let me tell you something, kid. I deal with a lot of people like you in my line of work and you know what I always find to be true? Most people are far too eager to jump to conclusions. So, I'm gonna give you a little advice. The next time you feel your paranoia getting the best of you, I want you to stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself; "should I really go bother that nice man who lives next door?" And for future reference, I sleep in on Saturdays.
- Jordan Shelby: Haven't you ever had the feeling you were being watched? The feeling that somebody was peering out at you while your back was turned? Your whole life you were told that suspicion was just your imagination, but it's not. It's them, biding their time. Watching... waiting.
- Jordan Shelby: So, Chad, lay it on us. What happened with you and your girl?
- Chad Morgan: I'd rather not get into it.
- Jordan Shelby: Don't be an asshole. Pretend I'm Dr. Phil and your an overweight, under-sexed, middle-aged woman. Pour your heart out to me.
- Jordan Shelby: Hey bible salesman have a seat. We're in the middle of a rarely intense Street Fighter II tournament and I gotta finish whipping this little broads ass. So just hang tight and I'll be with you in one moment.
- Dixon Rampart: You ain't whipping shit.
- Jordan Shelby: Really, then why has my health bar been depleted? What did you un-pause the game when I went to answer the door?
- Dixon Rampart: What's your damage? You on the rag or something? Sure it isn't time to change your tampon?
- Jordan Shelby: No actually I like to stew in it, dickhead.
- Detective Winters: Care for a doughnut, Chad Morgan?
- Chad Morgan: Oh, no thank you.
- [pause]
- Chad Morgan: You guys really eat those, huh?
- Detective Winters: Oh yeah.
- Mr. Reed: Look, I hope your car gets fixed, I do. I'd hate for it to be something serious and you couldn't get around from place to place... like back and forth to the police station. But if you ever need a jump start, I'm right next door.
- Chad Morgan: You wanna know what the scariest thing that ever happened to me was? When I was ten years old I caught a man staring at me through my bedroom window. I remember earlier that week the news talking about how there was a peeping-tom in the neighborhood. The people up the street, they found a ladder propped up to their second story window a few nights before. He ran away, the cops never found him. I didn't sleep in my room for a month. I just kept wondering how many times he had looked in without me even knowing. That... that was the moment I realized I was afraid of God. 'Cause even when you're alone, someone's still watching you.
- Jordan Shelby: I just, I don't get it. You spend more time with me then you do with her.
- Chad Morgan: I love her.
- Jordan Shelby: Oh yeah? Then she can deal with your stupid, paranoid bullshit!
- Chad Morgan: Hi.
- Woman in Bar: Hi.
- Chad Morgan: Anything good? I mean your... you know, your book. Any good?
- Woman in Bar: Yeah, it's um, chick-lit.
- Chad Morgan: Ah, right. Let me guess, trashy romance junk written by some woman with a name like "Scarlet Rose"? Bunch of overly descriptive sex stuff in it, maybe a Fabio-looking dude half naked on the cover?
- Woman in Bar: Yeah, something like that.
- Chad Morgan: I figured. So what are you drinking?
- Woman in Bar: It's a bay breeze.
- Chad Morgan: Bay breeze. I bet that's the perfect drink to go with that book.
- Woman in Bar: Yeah. I'm sorry, I apologize, I'm just um... I'm just trying to finish this chapter here and I keep losing my spot.
- Chad Morgan: Oh yeah , sorry.
- Woman in Bar: Don't worry about it.
- Chad Morgan: Because, I mean, I was only asking 'cause I wanted to know if I could buy you another one of those. So...
- Woman in Bar: You know what, I was actually just heading out.
- Chad Morgan: Have a good night.