- The Heavy: When I was boy, I was at camp, being trained in many ways of combat.
- Max: Assassination camp for kids. Oh, this is gonna be good!
- The Heavy: There was sparrow, sitting on fence. Snow falls quietly around me. Without notice, another boy jumps from behind tree, and kills sparrow with throwing knife. The boy runs away.
- Max: And then?
- The Heavy: I pick up sparrow and hear his last breath before digging him tiny grave.
- Tycho Brahe: [sobs]
- Strong Bad: That's not even a little bit funny, man
- The Heavy: No. It's not.
- Strong Bad: Hey, Heavyman, do you think you could take care of the King of Town for me?
- The Heavy: I can assassinate King. Yes. Is expensive though.
- Strong Bad: Whoa, whoa, whoa! By "take care of", I meant maybe you and I could sneak into his room and shave off half his mustache.
- The Heavy: I am not best at sneaking.
- The Heavy: [he and Strong Bad continue their discussion about dealing with the King of Town] I am not best at sneaking.
- Strong Bad: Maybe we could confront him in a dark alley then?
- The Heavy: This is better. That way blood wash away in rain.
- Strong Bad: Oh man, you're going to totally murder the King of Town, aren't you? Oh well!
- The Heavy: I am reminded of time engineer kill my entire team.
- Tycho Brahe: Damn heavy, that's... heavy. I'm sorry to hear that.
- The Heavy: I search entire base for him. He tries to kill me with turret and mini-turret, but I crush his toys like they are made of paper.
- Strong Bad: Sound like some crappy toys, if you ask me.
- The Heavy: Then I find him, hiding by teleporter. I take his gun away from him. He tries to hit me with wrench
- [laughs]
- The Heavy: . So I take wrench away from him. I take his wrench and shove it down his throat, all the way down to the handle.
- Tycho Brahe: Christ!
- The Heavy: Then I rip off all his fingers, one by one! Let's see you build toys NOW!
- [laughs]
- The Heavy: There is blood everywhere! And he is crying!
- [laughter]
- The Heavy: I think he cries out for mother, but...
- [laughter]
- The Heavy: the wrench is stuck in his throat! And it sounds like
- [imitates a choking noise]
- The Heavy: !
- [laughs]
- The Heavy: Is this not the funniest thing?
- Strong Bad: [Stunned silence] That is some f***ed up s***, man!
- [first lines]
- Reginald Van Winslow: Oh, hello there! Another enthusiast, I presume? How good it is to see a fresh face here at the Inventory. I imagine you're here for the card game with the fellows downstairs? Let me lead you down there.
- [he leads the player down the stairs]
- Reginald Van Winslow: A first timer, hm? I'm a bit more familiar with the... eh... "benefactions" of the club.
- [Winslow stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns to the player]
- Reginald Van Winslow: The club was founded in 1919 in response to an early draft of the 18th Amendment. Through... back channels, it was learned that this vile piece of legislation would not only outlaw libation, but games and amusements that could also "threaten the world-renown determination and productivity of the American Workforce."
- [he mocks a salute]
- Reginald Van Winslow: Pah! Can you imagine? GAMES OUTLAWED? Nevertheless, this club has remained here in secret ever since, just in case those "in charge" get another bee in their bonnet, hm?
- [he reaches the area below the table]
- Reginald Van Winslow: So, welcome. And enjoy yourself. Ah, your table!
- [tuns to the four at the table]
- Reginald Van Winslow: Ahem, gentlemen!
- [the four turn]
- Reginald Van Winslow: I hope there is room at the table for a fifth?
- Max: Ah-ha! Fresh meat!