- Ted Mosby: [the gang debates about what the essence of being New Yorkers really is] I'd say you're not a real New Yorker until you've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do.
- Lily Aldrin: No, you're not a New Yorker until you've cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.
- Marshall Eriksen: No, you're not a real New Yorker until you've killed a cockroach with your bare hand.
- Narrator: And Robin would do all three of these before the day was out.
- Barney Stinson: I cannot stop staring at that girl's face.
- Ted Mosby: Face? That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet.
- Barney Stinson: No Ted. I am really looking at her face.
- Lily Aldrin: Aaaw. That's really sweet.
- Barney Stinson: Puffy cheeks, smudged mascara, slightly red nose, that girl was just crying. She's so sad and defenseless. Anyone have a condom?
- Barney Stinson: [Future Ted is explaining why Barney needed to win the race] And firing half my department freed up the money to double my own salary, and this chick from Boston was wicked hot in bed last night, and I'm getting more muscular, even though I've stopped working out, and I've got this amazing poker group... And I smell incredible!
- Narrator: [interrupting the story] Actually, Barney did not need to win.
- Giant Calculator: Sounds like you guys need to 'Clear Everything,' 'Subtract' the negativity and 'Add' some perspective.
- Lily Aldrin: [comforting Robin] You've had a rough year. But you're tough. And I love you like crazy. If you left, I'd have to follow you. And Marshall would follow me. And Ted would follow him. The only upside is that we might get rid of Barney.