Jersey Boys (2014)

Vincent Piazza: Tommy DeVito

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Quotes 

• Tommy DeVito : Oh, by the way, if you're ever in Vegas, go to a casino. Say the name, "Tommy DeVito". My hand to God, you'll be outta there in about 12 seconds.

• Bob Gaudio : Tommy, no stolen goods, okay?

  Tommy DeVito : Stolen goods? No! These fell off a truck.

• Tommy DeVito : Here's $3500. DeVito delivers; fuck Vivaldi!

• Bob Gaudio : You know, this may come as a surprise to you, Tommy, but I don't HAVE a police record!

  Tommy DeVito : Yeah? Well, it's never too late to start.

• Nick Massi : Excuse me, with all due respect, he opened it up, I'm gonna say something. I've been rooming with this guy on and off for what is it, ten years? This was not a walk in a park, this was a sentence. A ten year sentence. The man is a personal nightmare. He wears the same underwear 3 days running. He takes no pride in his appearance in the simple amenities of life. You wanna talk about towels? The man cannot be in a hotel without using all the towels. I'm talking face towels, bath towels, the bathmat, the little washcloths like he's living alone. You need a towel, you know where it is? In a wet pile on the floor. I come back to the room one time, the man is pissing in the sink.

  Tommy DeVito : I never pissed in the sink.

  Nick Massi : Right in the sink, right in the fucking sink! I say "Tommy, what's wrong with you? There's a toilet over there." He says "This was closer." This is what I'm dealing with! The man is not properly socialized. Frankie doesn't have to deal with it, Gaudio doesn't, I've had to deal with it. TEN YEARS!

  Gyp DeCarlo : Ok Nick, thank you for sharing. Now, Norman. We're gonna take a little walk, work things out, I want you boys to put your heads together and see what you can come up with. And you, hey. Stay out of my bathroom.

  Frankie Valli : Maybe Gyp can talk some sense into this guy.

  Tommy DeVito : Forget sense. Forget sense. I got a couple of things I could... I could work something out.

  Nick Massi : What, pull a job? Hey, he's gonna roll a 7-11, like the old days.

  Tommy DeVito : Alright Nicky, shut your trap alright, and drink your wine! DeCarlo's not running this group, I am. I don't even know what we're doing here, begging Gyp for help. You make me look like an asshole, all of ya's.

  Nick Massi : You do that all by yourself Tommy.

  Frankie Valli : Fellas, can we please talk about...

  Tommy DeVito : You know what'd be nice, since I was here before any of you? A little respect.

  Nick Massi : For what, getting 162 in the hole?

  Tommy DeVito : You know something? At least I tried, huh? You think it's easy running the group? Dealing with the club owners, the managers, the record companies? Everybody trying to fuck you five ways from Sunday? You don't care how it gets done Nicky, I took care of it! Me!

  Frankie Valli : Sit down.

• Tommy DeVito : There's two types of women. There's Type A and Type B. Type A: They're real easy. They jump right into bed with you. Boom, boom, boom. Then later on, they break your balls.

• Frankie Valli : Tommy you don't give a shit about the group, you never have. It's always been whatever it is you got going and then there's the group. You never want to rehearse, you drop Nicky to drink, you put Bob through the ringer, and forget about trying to mess with my head, which you've done from day one. You know the shame of it is you're not a bad musician if you give a little time, but no. You're too busy shooting your mouth off or buying apartments to keep your girlfriends in. But no more. All that bullshit is over.

  Tommy DeVito : Is this how you talk to your friends?

  Frankie Valli : Friends, right. Not one Christmas present, not one Christmas card. The one time we go for a mean and you pick up the cheque. The one time you ask me how my kids are doing, how I'm doing! God help me Tommy, part of me would really like to see you hurt.

• Bob Crewe : You guys are not hearing it like I do!

  Tommy DeVito : I'm sor... I'm sorry Crewe, how do you hear it?

  Bob Crewe : I'm hearing it in sky blue and you're giving me brown.

  Tommy DeVito : Maybe that's because you're paying us shit.

  Bob Crewe : Excuse me?

  Tommy DeVito : I'm sorry Crewe, famous ears clogged up? I'll say it into the mike. Maybe because you're paying us fucking shit!

  Bob Crewe : Alright, is there a problem Tommy?

  Tommy DeVito : Yeah, there's a problem!

  Tommy DeVito , Bob Crewe : Ok, let's see what the goddamn problem is.

  Tommy DeVito : Oh, we got his attention, he's coming down. About fucking time.

• Tommy DeVito : [narrating]  You wanna hear the real story? I'm the one you wanna talk to: Tommy DeVito. Wasn't for me, we would have wound up in the trunk with a bullet in our head. There's even a street named after me. Of course, it don't come easy. You gotta have talent and skill and vision. And luck.

• Tommy DeVito : Hey Nicky! Remember when we couldn't get arrested?

  Bob Gaudio : When was that, Tommy? When you were three?

• Tommy DeVito : [while performing on stage]  Look at that son of a bitch over there.

  Frankie Valli : Where?

  Tommy DeVito : That guy. The big guy. Hitting on my girl.

  Frankie Valli : That's not your girl.

  Tommy DeVito : She will be as soon as she meets me.

• Art Loving Woman : [looking at painting]  It's fascinating, isn't it? He has such... freedom.

  Tommy DeVito : Hmm. They should take it away.

  Art Loving Woman : The painting?

  Tommy DeVito : His freedom.

• Tommy DeVito : You know what I do now? I work for Joe Pesci. Little Joey Fishes, same kid I used to smack around. A couple of months ago, we were driving through the old neighborhood. He says "Hey Tommy, how do you remember yourself back then?" I says "I think I was a pretty stand up guy." He says "I gotta be honest with you. You were total prick. Nobody would have put up with your shit except we all needed something. Everybody remembers it the way they need to, right?

  Nick Massi : People always ask the same question, why'd you do it Nicky? Why'd you walk away? Well let me clear that up. It wasn't the signed deal, it wasn't the touring, it wasn't the bad food or rooming with Tommy, it just came out of my mouth. Once I said it, I knew it was what I wanted. I wanted to go home.

  Frankie Valli : They ask you "what was the high point?" Hall of Fame, selling all those records, pulling Sherry out of the hat, it was all great. But four guys under a streetlamp, when it was all still ahead of us, the first time we made that sound, our sound. When everything dropped away and all there was was the music. That was the best.

  Bob Gaudio : I'm not drawn to the old neighborhood, my life never revolved around the old neighborhood, I don't give a fuck about the old neighborhood. I'm from wherever I happen to be, and these days that's Nashville, Tennessee. Just me, my beautiful wife and a good cigar. Quiet, and peaceful in the knowledge that none of this could have happened without me.

  Tommy DeVito : By the way, if you're ever in Vegas go to down a casino, say the name Tommy DeVito. My hand to god, you'll be out of there in about 12 seconds.

  Nick Massi : Alright, I'll be honest with you. It could have been an ego thing, everybody wants to be up front. But if there is four guys, and you're Ringo? Better I should spend some time with my kids.

  Frankie Valli : Like that bunny on TV with the battery, I just keep going and going and going. Chasing the music. Trying to get home.

• Tommy DeVito : By the way, if you're ever in Vegas go to down a casino, say the name Tommy DeVito. My hand to god, you'll be out of there in about 12 seconds.

• Tommy DeVito : [narrating]  Love? I'll be honest with you. I never knew what that was. Marriage? Marriage is not love. Marriage is you take a shave while your wife sits on the can and clips her toenails.

• Tommy DeVito : [about Frankie]  Between you and me - and don't print this because he doesn't want it out there - I taught him everything he knows.

  Lorraine : Really?

  Tommy DeVito : Everything.

  Lorraine : Ah.

  Tommy DeVito : But not everything *I* know.

  Lorraine : Aah.