Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
Jack McBrayer: Felix
Photos
Quotes
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Fix-It Felix : What's he say, what's he say...?
[imitating Ralph]
Fix-It Felix : I'm gonna wreck it!
[Felix hits the prison bars with his hammer... which reappear, thicker and stronger]
Fix-It Felix : Why do I fix EVERYTHING I touch?
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Fix-It Felix : Do you have any idea what you put me through? Higgeldy-piggeldy, I ran all over creation looking for you! I almost drowned in chocolate milk mix! And then... I met the most dynamite gal. Oh, she gives me the honey glow something awful! But, she rebuffed my affections. And then, I GOT THROWN IN JAIL!
Wreck-It Ralph : Felix, pull yourself together!
Fix-It Felix : No, Ralph! You don't know what it's like to be rejected and treated like a criminal.
Wreck-It Ralph : Yes I do... That's every day of my life.
Fix-It Felix : It is?
Wreck-It Ralph : Which is why I tried to run away and be a good guy. But I'm not! I'm just a bad guy. And I need your help. There's a little girl who's only hope is this cart. Please, Felix, fix it. And I promise, I will never try to be good again.
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Wreck-It Ralph : But right now, you have to fix this go-kart for me.
Fix-It Felix : I don't have to do boo! Forgive my potty-mouth.
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Sour Bill : Now I remember.
[walking up to Vanellope]
Sour Bill : All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush, Princess Vanellope.
Taffyta Muttonfudge : I remember, she's our princess!
Candlehead : Oh, that's right!
Taffyta Muttonfudge : We are *so* sorry about the way we treated you!
Rancis Fluggerbutter : Yeah, those were... jokes!
Candlehead : [whining] I was just doing what Taffyta told me to do!
Vanellope von Schweetz : Tut, tut. As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be... executed.
Sugar Rush Racers : *What?* No, no, no, please...
Fix-It Felix : Oh, my land!
Sergeant Calhoun : Oh! This place just got interesting.
Taffyta Muttonfudge : [crying] I don't want to die!
Vanellope von Schweetz : Ah, I'm just kidding.
Taffyta Muttonfudge : You are?
Vanellope von Schweetz : Stop crying, Taffyta.
Taffyta Muttonfudge : [eyes streaming] I'm trying, but... it won't stop!
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Sergeant Calhoun : Your face is still red, you might want to hit it with your hammer again.
Fix-It Felix : Oh, that ain't blunt force trauma, ma'am. It's just the honeyglow in my cheeks. You know, you are one dynamite gal.
Brad : [At the artillery range] You know, you are one dynamite gal.
[On a date]
Brad : You are one dynamite gal.
[At a park]
Brad : Dynamite gal.
[Proposing]
Brad : Dynamite gal.
[At the wedding]
Brad : Dynamite gal.
[the cy-bug bursts in and kills him]
Sergeant Calhoun : NOOOOO!
[stops the ship]
Sergeant Calhoun : Get out!
Fix-It Felix : But... all I said is that you're a dynamite gal.
Sergeant Calhoun : I said get out!
[Felix disembarks and Calhoun flies off alone]
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Fix-It Felix : [goggles at Calhoun] Look at that high definition. Your face... it's AMAZING!
Sergeant Calhoun : Flattery don't charge these batteries, civilian.
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Fix-It Felix : Back when the arcade first opened, Turbo Time was by far the most popular game, and Turbo, he loved the attention. So when Road Blasters got plugged in and stole Turbo's thunder, boy was he jealous, so jealous, that he abandoned his game and tried to take over the new one. Turbo ended up putting both games and himself out of order, for good.
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Wreck-It Ralph : See ya later, President Fartfeathers.
Vanellope von Schweetz : Au revoir, Admiral Underpants.
Wreck-It Ralph : And farewell, Baroness Boogerface.
Vanellope von Schweetz : Goodbye, Major Body Odor.
Wreck-It Ralph : Hasta la vista, you...
Fix-It Felix : Ralph!
Wreck-It Ralph : All right, to be continued.
Vanellope von Schweetz : Yeah!
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Fix-It Felix : It's my job to fix whatever Ralph wrecks!
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[repeated line]
Fix-It Felix : Oh my LAND...
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[repeated line]
Fix-It Felix : I can fix it!
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Fix-It Felix : [after Ralph abandoned the game] Everyone calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again.
[a tram pulls up]
Fix-It Felix : See, here he is now.
[Q*Bert hops out]
Fix-It Felix : Why, it's Q*Bert! What brings you here, neighbor?
Q*Bert : $;&?@#
Gene : What's he saying, Felix?
Fix-It Felix : Stand by. My Q*Bert-ese is a little rusty.
[Felix and Q*Bert exchange rounds of Q*Bert-ese]
Fix-It Felix : Ralph's gone Turbo?
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[from trailer]
Fix-It Felix : Ralph abandoned his game!
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Fix-It Felix : Calm down, everybody! Ralph probably fell asleep in the washing-room of Tapper's again.
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Surge Protector : Yeah, he banged around in here like some kind of hot shot, then he went barreling down into that sweet little game like a crazy person.
Sergeant Calhoun : "Sugar Rush." Cy-Bugs would chew up that game faster than a chickenhawk in a coop of crippled roosters.
Fix-It Felix : What was that now?
Sergeant Calhoun : What are you, thick? There was a Cy-Bug on that shuttle!
[Felix looks at her blankly]
Sergeant Calhoun : Do you even know what a Cy-Bug is?
Fix-It Felix : I can't say that I do, ma'am.
Sergeant Calhoun : Cy-Bugs are like a virus. They don't know they're in a game. All they know is eat, kill, multiply. Without a beacon to stop them, they'll consume Sugar Rush. But do you think they'll stop there?
Fix-It Felix : Yes!
Sergeant Calhoun : Wrong! Viruses do not stop! Once those Cy-Bugs finish off Sugar Rush, they'll invade every other game until this arcade is nothing but a smoking husk of forgotten dreams. Kohut, my cruiser!
Fix-It Felix : Jeepers! Is she always this intense?
Kohut : It's not her fault. She's programmed with the most tragic backstory ever. The one day she didn't do a perimeter check, her wedding day.
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Fix-It Felix : Why, it's Q*Bert! What brings you here, neighbour?
Q*Bert : [in Q*Berteze] I have some important news for you.
Gene : [in English] What's he saying, Felix?
Fix-It Felix : Stand by, my Q*Berteze is a little rusty.
[in Q*Berteze]
Fix-It Felix : What sort of news will you tell us, dear Q*Bert?
Q*Bert : It's about Wreck-it Ralph.
Fix-It Felix : Coming back from Tapper's?
Q*Bert : I don't think he'll come back any time soon.
Fix-It Felix : [gasps] What are you saying?
Q*Bert : Ralph's gone Turbo!
Fix-It Felix : [in English] Ralph's gone Turbo?
[everyone gasps]
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Fix-It Felix : Well, I'll be dipped. You've really outdone yourself, Mary.
Norwood : Oh, and look! There's all of us at the top.
Mary : Each apartment is everyone's favorite flavor. Norwood's is red velvet.
Norwood : Guilty!
Mary : And lemon for Lucy, rum cake for Gene, and for Felix...
[Ralph looks for his figurine, and finds himself in the mud, looking like some sort of deranged troll]
Wreck-It Ralph : [His face sinks] Hey, Mary. Um... What's the flavor of that mud that I'm stuck in there?
Mary : Hmm? Oh. Chocolate.
Wreck-It Ralph : I've never been real fond of chocolate.
Mary : Well, I did not know that.
Wreck-It Ralph : One other little thing. I hate to be picky, but this angry little guy here...
[Ralph picks up the little Ralph figurine. He puts him on the roof, smooshing the cake a little.]
Mary : [shocked] My cake!
Wreck-It Ralph : ...might be a lot happier if you put him up here with everyone else.
[Ralph pushes an ugly smile onto his figurine's face]
Wreck-It Ralph : See that? Look at that smile.
Gene : No, no, no. You see, Ralph, there's no room for you up here.
[Gene knocks Little Ralph back into the mud. Then Ralph chuckles]
Wreck-It Ralph : Well, what about this? We can make room. Here. We can take turns. Easy.
[Ralph puts Little Ralph back on top of the cake and slams Little Felix into the mud instead. The Nicelanders Gasped]
Fix-It Felix : How about we just eat the cake!
Gene : Hang on. Felix needs to be on the roof because he's about to get his medal!
Wreck-It Ralph : Well, then how about we just take that medal and give it to Ralph for once. Would that be the end of the world, Gene?
[Ralph rips the medal off, breaking the delicate fireworks, and puts it on little Ralph]
Gene : [suspiciously] Now you're just being ridiculous; only good guys win medals, and YOU sir are no good guy.
Wreck-It Ralph : [angrily] I could be a good guy if I wanted to, and I could win a medal.
Gene : Uh-huh. And when you do, come and talk to us.
[Gene takes Ralph off the cake]
Wreck-It Ralph : And then would you finally let me be on the top of the cake with you guys?
Gene : If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the PENTHOUSE! But it will never happen, because you're just the bad guy who wrecks the building.
[Gene took off Ralph's look and rips the medal off little Ralph, puts it on little Felix, and puts Felix back on the top]
Wreck-It Ralph : No, I'm not.
Gene : Yes, you are.
Wreck-It Ralph : No, I'm NOT!
[Ralph slams his fist down right on the cake. SMASH! Chunks of cake and frosting cover the Nicelanders. Pac-Man stops eating. His mouth falls open in shock]
Gene : Yes, you are.
Wreck-It Ralph : All right, Gene, you know what? I'm gonna win a medal. Oh I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen. A medal so good that it will make Felix's medals wet their pants! And good night. Thank you for the party.
[Ralph exits, smashing a hole in the other side of the door]
Roy : Is he serious?
Gene : Oh please, where is a Bad Guy gonna win a medal? Of course he's not serious.
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[Litwak hangs an OUT OF ORDER sign on the screen. The Nicelanders run out of the building and watch in horror as the sign eclipses the arcade light]
Gene : Ladies and gentlemen, we're... out of order.
Mary : Sweet mercy! Without Ralph, we're doomed!
Roy : They're gonna pull our plug!
[Everyone panicked and Felix forced positivity to the Nicelanders]
Fix-It Felix : Okay, everybody, calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again.
[They heard a bell ringing in the distance]
Fix-It Felix : See? There he is now.
