Happy Endings (TV Series)
Bo Fight (2011)
Adam Pally: Max Blum
Photos
Quotes
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Brad Williams : Aw c'mon bro, being a black guy is way harder than being a gay dude. Last night, I tried to hail a cab in a twelve hundred dollar suit. Dude drove right past me and picked up a white guy in a "Who Farted" t-shirt.
Max Blum : Oh boohoo. You can't get a cab. I can't get married, or into Heaven.
Penny Hartz : You don't want to do either of those things.
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Dave Rose : I'm gonna go out tonight, and I'm gonna get absolutely blackout drunk.
Max Blum : Yes! Let's do it!
Dave Rose : Maybe I'll meet somebody! Y'know, I could bring her back here! Somehow convince her to have sex with me on this soiled futon while you sleep nearby!
Max Blum : Sure! I mean, chicks love a chubby guy sleeping on the floor, it reminds them of prom!
Dave Rose : Couple months go by. Surprise! Herpes. Surprise number two: she's preggos and loves cocaine.
Max Blum : Okay. You're going to a dark place, let's turn it around!
Dave Rose : Nah, we try to make it work for a while, but it's only a matter of time before she runs off with a roadie from Pantera. Before you know it, I'm a single dad living in this... torture porn warehouse with my cross eyed baby, Mitchell.
Max Blum : If we're gonna raise this baby together, I'm not in love with the name Mitchell.
Dave Rose : 'kay. We can work on that.