Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup (2011)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Quotes 

• Lyndsey Mackelroy : Before we go any further, I'd like to take something off the table.

  Charlie Harper : What?

  Lyndsey Mackelroy : My ass.

• Lyndsey Mackelroy : I am way past guys like you.

  Charlie Harper : What do you mean, 'guys like me'?

  Lyndsey Mackelroy : Guys I'd have to dip in ammonia before I'd let them anywhere near me.

  Charlie Harper : Oh, those guys.

• Alan Harper : Since when do you care about her kid's education?

  Charlie Harper : Young people are our future, Alan. I care about them all.

  Alan Harper : Oh, please! The only young people you care about are sliding down a pole to grab dollar bills out of your mouth!

  Charlie Harper : Those aren't dollar bills! Those are twenties!

• Charlie Harper : Alan, listen to me very carefully. I have not had sex with your girlfriend.

  Alan Harper : Still in the planning stages!