Nebraska (2013)
Will Forte: David Grant
Photos
Quotes
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Receptionist : Does he have Alzheimer's?
David Grant : No, he just believes what people tell him.
Receptionist : That's too bad.
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Kate Grant : [looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore!
David Grant : Mom!
Kate Grant : Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut.
David Grant : C'mon...
Kate Grant : I'm just telling you the truth!
David Grant : Where's your family?
Kate Grant : Oh, they're over in the Catholic cemetery. Catholics wouldn't be caught dead around all these damn Lutherans.
[Approaches another tombstone]
Kate Grant : Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin, he was a drunk. One time we were wrestling and he felt me up. Grabbed a handful of boob and Woody was right there and didn't have a clue, did ya Woody?
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David Grant : Dad, why didn't you tell us that wasn't Ed's house?
Woody Grant : I didn't know what the hell you were doing.
Ross Grant : Have you ever seen us steal machinery before?
Woody Grant : I never know what you boys are up to.
Ross Grant : Why didn't you say it wasn't yours?
Woody Grant : I thought you wanted it.
Ross Grant : What would we want an old compressor for?
Woody Grant : That's what I couldn't figure out.
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Kate Grant : That's Ed Pegram singing.
Ed Pegram : And his momma cried, cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed... in the ghetto. people don't ya understand...
Kate Grant : He always did have a nice voice. It was the only nice thing about that bastard.
Woody Grant : It's all right.
Kate Grant : All right? Did you know... he was always trying to get into my bloomers?
David Grant : Jesus mom. Was the whole town trying to seduce you?
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David Grant : ...and all your brothers are coming over today, remember?
Woody Grant : Some of 'em are dead.
David Grant : The dead ones won't be here.
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David Grant : How did she die?
Kate Grant : Saw herself in the mirror one day.
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David Grant : Oh. Okay. Dad, I found it. Here it is.
[Runs up holding partial]
David Grant : Oh. Wait. This isn't yours.
Woody Grant : [Goes back to looking]
David Grant : I was kidding. Here.
[Hands it over]
Woody Grant : [Examines it] These ain't mine.
David Grant : Of course they're yours.
Woody Grant : No.
David Grant : Whose else is it going to be? See if it fits.
Woody Grant : They're not my teeth.
David Grant : They have to be.
Woody Grant : I ought to know my own teeth.
David Grant : [Walks off]
Woody Grant : Of course they're my teeth. Don't be a moron.
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David Grant : Hey Dad, you finally got your compressor back.
Woody Grant : That's not my compressor.
David Grant : Sure it is.
Woody Grant : Mine didn't look anything like that.
David Grant : It has to be yours. It's an old compressor we found in Ed Pegram's barn.
Woody Grant : That wasn't Ed's barn.
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David Grant : How did you and mom end up getting married?
Woody Grant : She wanted to.
David Grant : And you didn't?
Woody Grant : I figured, what the hell.
David Grant : Were you ever sorry you married her?
Woody Grant : All the time.
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Kate Grant : Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?
Woody Grant : 'cause I like it.
Waitress : What can I get you?
Woody Grant : Do you have any meatloaf?
Waitress : No, that's only part of our lunch specials.
Kate Grant : He'll have the chicken.
Waitress : Fried or grilled?
Woody Grant : ...fried.
Kate Grant : He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?
Waitress : Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.
Kate Grant : Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.
David Grant : ...I'll have the tilapia.
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David Grant : So, what do you think, dad?
Woody Grant : It doesn't look finished to me.
David Grant : How do you mean?
Woody Grant : [upon seeing Mount Rushmore] Well, it looks like somebody got bored doing it. Washington's the only one with any clothes, and they're just kind of roughed in. Lincoln doesn't even have an ear.
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Receptionist : [after telling Woody he hasn't won the money] I can give you a free gift. Would you like a hat or a seat cushion?
David Grant : Dad. Do you want a hat or a seat cushion?
Woody Grant : I'll take a hat.
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David Grant : Well, why did you have kids, then?
Woody Grant : I like to screw, and your mother's a Catholic, so you figure it out.
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Bart : Hell, I drove up from Dallas one time. That's 850 miles, I done that in eight hours.
David Grant : That's, like, over 100 miles an hour.
Cole : Oh, Bart was movin'.
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David Grant : So, you told the Sheriff you were walking to Nebraska?
Woody Grant : That's right. To get my million dollars.
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Peg Nagy : I knew I didn't have a chance anyway.
David Grant : Yeah?
Peg Nagy : I wouldn't let him round the bases.
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Bart : We could get you to Lincoln in an hour.
David Grant : Lincoln is over 200 miles.
Bart : Okay, hour-and-a-half.
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Woody Grant : Where's my teeth?
David Grant : You lost your teeth?
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Bart : So, you got any other cars?
David Grant : No. Just that one.
Bart : What's the engine?
David Grant : It's uh... four cylinder?
Bart : Yeah. But, what size?
David Grant : Oh, I don't really know.
Cole : What's your brother drive?
David Grant : Who, Ross?
Cole : Yeah, what does he drive?
David Grant : Ross has a Kia Rondo and Marcy has a Nissan Pathfinder. She carts the kids around a lot.
Bart : So, you all got Jap cars?
David Grant : Actually, Kia is Korean.