- Grandma: [Trying to get rid of Mike, who has come knocking on her door at night time] Now, if you will excuse me, Brother Heywood stopped by for pie and coffee.
- Mike Biggs: Oh, what kind of pie?
- Grandma: The kind of pie that 2 consenting adults enjoy alone in the privacy of their own home.
- Mike Biggs: [Referring to missing 2 social outings that evening] Oh, man... I am 2 for 2.
- Grandma: [NOT referring to missed social outings] So is Brother Heywood. Good night, Michael.
- Grandma: [Opening the front door after Mike knocks] Oh, hey Michael! Carlton's not home. Good night, baby.
- [Begins to close door]
- Mike Biggs: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Where did he go?
- Grandma: Oh, I don't keep tabs on him, he's a grown man. But he does like hot wings and big, fake boobies, if that helps narrow it down.
- Mike Biggs: Strip club.
- Grandma: I don't think he was folding up dollar bills to put in the church collection plate.