Sisters (III) (2015)
Amy Poehler: Maura Ellis
Photos
Quotes
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Maura Ellis : [the sisters are clothes shopping for the party] We need a little less Forever 21 and a little more Suddenly 42.
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Maura Ellis : [the sisters have visited their parents uninvited only to realize that they are otherwise engaged] Did we just cock block our parents?
Kate Ellis : They were fresh off the sex griddle!
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Maura Ellis : I've been thinking...
Kate Ellis : Why?
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Maura Ellis : How can one person have two colonoscopy stories?
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Maura Ellis : Can I borrow me your bathroom? Number one only.
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Maura Ellis : We are on the way to a shelter to give people this party food.
Brinda : Oh, is that why you're dressed like the homeless?
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Maura Ellis : I don't wear thongs. I have a very fussy taint.
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[Brinda has crashed Kate and Maura's party and is talking to James, whom Maura has a crush on]
Kate Ellis : Are you serious? 'Cause I am straight-up baffled.
Brinda : I'm sorry?
Kate Ellis : I believe you called this party "a sad and desperate event"?
Brinda : Well, I just figured I'd pop in and say hello to everyone. I mean, we're all adults now, right?
Kate Ellis : Nice try. On your bike, bitch.
Maura Ellis : [whimpers]
Kate Ellis : Get your peanut butter outta my sister's chocolate.
Brinda : Wow.
Kate Ellis : I respect your jumpsuit, but not its contents. Hit it.
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Maura Ellis : Blue? What would possess a person to paint stained wood blue? What, were you raised on a tugboat?
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Kate Ellis : I wish being gay was a choice, because I always did like that shorts and boots look.
Maura Ellis : Yeah I dunno, for me the deal breaker might be the eating of the pussy.
Kate Ellis : Oh really? 'Cause for me, it would just be the fucking unbearable amount of talking.
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Maura's Patient : No, I don't need lotion in there!
Maura Ellis : [Shushes] Yeah, you do need lotion in there.
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[Unrated version only]
Kate Ellis : Oh, I'm so sorry that you couldn't get laid for the last five millionth time in your life.
Maura Ellis : Oh, I get! I get my fucking dick when I want to.
Kate Ellis : I know you get tons of dick!
Maura Ellis : Just not tonight and not recently.
Kate Ellis : Mmmm-hmmm.
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Maura Ellis , Kate Ellis : Fuck the haters!
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Maura Ellis : [Policeman writes on his note pad] Why don't you write this on your notepad. E.A.T...
[Policeman starts writing]
Maura Ellis : S.H.I.T...
Kate Ellis : Okay! Oh My GOD!
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Maura Ellis : E-A-T... S-H-I-T.