The Cinema Snob (TV Series)

Driller Killer (2011)

Brad Jones: Cinema Snob

Quotes 

• Cinema Snob : If this guy were any less likeable, he'd be a genocidal dictator.

• Cinema Snob : Why "Public Domain Month"? Well, why not?

• Cinema Snob : Even the word "sleaze" wouldn't fuck this movie.

• Cinema Snob : Well, now that he's killed someone, maybe he'll be a bit nicer.

• Reno : All you know about is how to bitch and how to eat and how to bitch and how to shit and how to bitch. You don't know nothing about painting.

  Cinema Snob : Is that Abel acting or directing? Because if that's his directing style, well, he's certainly nicer to his actors than Kubrick was.

• Cinema Snob : This movie is so grimy that taking a bath in piss and grease would make me feel more clean than watching this thing.

• Cinema Snob : For fuck sakes, the movie looks more diseased than a used needle.

• Cinema Snob : That's right, he killed you, and he drilled you to a door. Because that makes about as much sense as when he drilled that guy's hand to a brick wall.

• Cinema Snob : I know what you're thinking. This movie's not as entertaining as Italian Batman. Is was the lesbians, wasn't it? Now you're expecting every movie I review to have lesbians in it. Well, this movie has lesbians in it too.

• Cinema Snob : Well, that's our first entry in Public Domain month. Glad I started on a happy note.

• Cinema Snob : And sure, yeah, I'm going to sit here and I'm going to trash the film myself. But I can, because I've actually seen the movie. I don't base my entire opinion of the thing on a box cover.

• Cinema Snob : Also, interesting piece of trivia. I don't know if this is true, but according to Ferrara, that's Bruce Willis. The guy washing the windows: Bruce fucking Willis. Could be true. Could be a lie. Regardless, it's a better career move than co-starring in North.

• Cinema Snob : Back to Reno, though. Just because he's a completely unlikeable character doesn't mean we can't see him fuck in the back seat of a cab.

• Cinema Snob : [while Reno and his roommate are trying to figure out where to drill a hole in a door]  Oh my God. How do I fucking break it to them that there's already a hole in the door?

• Cinema Snob : I'm so glad they asked me to play this movie loud. It's imperitive that I hear all of his bitching.

• Cinema Snob : Unknown to Reno, his girlfriend starts having serious doubts about their relationship. Can't imagine why. When she gets a letter from an old lover.

  Voice over : This Thursday is the fifth anniversary of the first day we met.

  [the letter includes a $100 bill] 

  Cinema Snob : It was nice of Ben Franklin to write her that letter.

• Cinema Snob : Never thought I'd say this, but could someone please drill this homeless guy?

• Cinema Snob : Really? You're really gonna go over there, critic? What are the odds that the crazy, starving artist you insulted is gonna kill you versus he actually did paint another piece of artwork within six hours?

• Cinema Snob : I'm sorry, did the screen cut to red? I didn't notice, since that's the only color I was seeing throughout the entire film.

• Cinema Snob : [Reno drinks milk out of the carton]  You think that's attractive? Watch this.

  [Reno scarfs down pizza, one piece at a time] 

  Cinema Snob : For fuck sake, even Travis Bickle couldn't relate to this guy.