Penguins of Madagascar (2014)

Benedict Cumberbatch: Classified

Photos 

Quotes 

• Classified : Remain calm, penguins. You're now under the protection of the North Wind.

  Skipper : Private, dibble me.

  [Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of Classified] 

  Skipper : We're not going anywhere with you.

  [munches] 

  Skipper : We don't even know who the heck you are.

  Classified : The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spe...

  [Skipper munches] 

  Classified : an elite undercover inter-species...

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : task for...

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : force...

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : dedicated to help...

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : to help...

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : dedicated to...

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : dedicated to helping animals who can't

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : help

  [Skipper munches again] 

  Classified : themselves.

  [Skipper munches again for the last time, then Classified growls] 

• Skipper : Debbie!

  Kowalski : Dave.

  Skipper : Dave!

  Corporal : He hacked into our system.

  [There's no sound onscreen as Dave speaks] 

  Eva : Where's the sound?

  Kowalski : Dave, your microphone, it's not on.

  Classified : Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.

  Short Fuse : Every time a villain calls in, this happens.

  Dave : Hello?

  [the screen goes off] 

  Dave : Hello?

  Kowalski : But, now we can hear you.

  Short Fuse : So annoying!

  Kowalski : But we cannot see.

  Short Fuse : Every time!

  Classified : It's like talking to my parents.

• Classified : Short Fuse, you were supposed to handcuff them to the raft!

  Short Fuse : I tried, but they don't have hands, they just have flippers, Boss! And I have flippers. So it's flipping useless!

• Classified : What is that?

  [they see numerous painful weapons as they are going to be killed on the ride] 

  Classified : Oh, great.

  Short Fuse : Oh, no! This it it!

  Corporal : I don't wanna die, I'm squishy!

  [before they are killed by one of the weapons, the ride stops and goes reverse to see Private knocked out the squid controlling the ride] 

  Classified : OH NO, WE'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAAAAAAAAAAD!

  Private : [to the North Wind team]  I pushed a button!

• Classified : Just tell me everything you know.

  Skipper : All right!

  [Inaudible word] 

  Skipper : Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.

  Classified : [taking notes]  Tulip fight...

  Skipper : Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.

  Classified : Sasquatch...

  Skipper : Hot dogs are, in fact, only 17% actual dog.

  Classified : [exasperated]  Not everything-everything! Everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine...

  Skipper : Aaaah! Why didn't you say so?

• Classified : We are the North Wind, and no one, NO ONE, breaks the Wind.

• Classified : What you, of course, could not know is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called: the Medusa Serum.

  Skipper : Ah! But what you don't know is that Dirk...

  Kowalski : Dave.

  Skipper : Dave, wont be using his Bazooka Serum...

  Kowalski : Medusa Serum.

  Skipper : Medusa Serum on anybody!

  Kowalski : That part is accurate.

  Skipper : Show 'em, Rico.

  [Rico regurgitates the canister of Medusa Serum onto the table. Skipper stands triumphantly over it] 

  Classified : [shocked]  You... you stole the Medusa Serum?

  Skipper : Well, stole the serum. Saved the day. Did your job for you. Call it what you will.

• Dave : [fixes the video connection]  How about now?

  Private : Hurray!

  Classified : Yes! Way to go, looks fantastic!

  Dave : Excellent! Now, where was I?

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Kowalski : Dave!

  Short Fuse : Grrrr!

  Dave : Greetings, North Wind. I see you've met my old zoo-mates.

  Skipper : We were never "mates." There was no mating.

  Classified : Turn yourself in, David. You are powerless now that I have stolen your precious Medusa Serum.

  Skipper : What? You didn't steal that!

  Classified : It's over.

  Dave : It's over?

  [mock-confusion] 

  Dave : Then... why did I call you? Wierd. OH! Maybe it was to show you *this*!

  [turns camera to reveal a large vat of Medusa Serum] 

  Kowalski : [collective gasp from everyone]  That is a lot of serum for four penguins.

  Dave : Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No, no-no-no-no. We're just getting started.

  [takes a selfie] 

  Dave : Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... FOR REVENGE!

  [hits button, buzzer sounds. hits button again, same result] 

  Dave : Wait. How do you...?

  Squid : [gurgles instructions] 

  Dave : What do I push?

  Squid : [points and gurgles] 

  Dave : Is it the red, or...

  Squid 2 : [points, gurgles, and slaps own head in frustration] 

  Dave : I thought it was... it's not this -

  [screen goes black] 

• Skipper : If you won't work with us, you better work for us. Our plan requires a diversion.

  Classified : I give the orders around here and as much as it pains me to say this, I need you to act as the die-version for our operation, understood?

  Skipper : No. This is our plan and it requires you to cause a diversion!

  Classified : Die-version.

  Skipper : Deh-version.

  Classified : Die!

  Skipper : Deh!

  [Skipper and Classified continue arguing pronouncing diversion; Eva lands in front of them] 

  Eva : Gentlemen. There's only one way to resolve this.

  Kowalski : We should kiss.

  Eva : Plan-off.

  Kowalski : Yep. Plan-off. That's what I was gonna say. Plan-off...