The Cleveland Show (TV Series)

BFFs (2011)

Seth MacFarlane: Tim the Bear, Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin

Quotes 

• Cleveland Brown : [when Peter comes to rescue Cleveland and his friends]  Thanks, Peter. How did you know we were here?

  Peter Griffin : Well, I felt bad after you left Quahog, so I called your house. Your wife said you were doing a friendship thing in the woods and I immediately thought, "Well, this is going to end in hillbilly rape", so I tracked you down and here I am.

  Cleveland Brown : But I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore.

  Peter Griffin : Well, as soon as you left, I started really intense psychotherapy with that gay guy in town who has like a thousand jobs.

  Cleveland Brown : They once said his name was Bruce.

  Peter Griffin : Right. So, apparently, I have abandonment issues stemming from my relationship with my father, blah, blah, blah, ticking time bomb, so I pushed you away before you could do it to me.

  Cleveland Brown : But I would never do that. We're BFFs.

  [he and Peter show each other their lip tattoos] 

  Peter Griffin : I'm sorry, Cleveland. You're my friend. You always have been. And I know deep down in my heart, I still love you.

  [Cleveland starts crying] 

• Peter Griffin : See, Cleveland, that's the difference between our two shows. On our show, we would have shown the rape and had a show tune about the rape.

  Cleveland Brown : And I would have just been the black guy.

• Cleveland Brown : Peter, why didn't you call me when you were in town last week?

  Peter Griffin : Yeah, uh, my phone died of AIDS.

  Cleveland Brown : AIDS is no longer a death sentence.

• Cleveland Brown : [to Peter]  But I thought we were friends.

  Peter Griffin : We were neighbors and drinking buddies. We weren't friends.