- Homer Simpson: Ah, Halloween. The one time of year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.
- Ned Flanders: Springfield, my home town. Pretty little place, although even the Garden of Eden could use a nice cleansing rain now and then.
- Lisa Simpson: Halloween is over, and that means one thing: the beginning of Christmas shopping season. Time to pump some blood into our failing economy.
- Marge Simpson: Remember, no home-made gifts. A single sweater can cost 27 Americans their jobs.
- Moe Szyslak: And don't forget, Christmas is a good time to pick up alcoholism. You have to deal with your relatives 365 days a year. Leave at least one day for your bartender.