- Pete Lattimer: Uh, do the words "warehouse," "artifact" and "Univille" mean anything to you?
- Myka Bering: No, but "creepy," "trespassing" and "federal offense" do.
- Artie Nielsen: [inspecting a row of bonsai trees] James always loved these damn things.
- Artie Nielsen: [cuts a branch off one tree with a pair of scissors] Banzai, Jimmy!
- [Pete is a recovering alcoholic]
- Pete Lattimer: You're the only woman I know who can make me follow her into a bar.
- Pete Lattimer: [pinned to the bar] I'll make ya a deal.
- Myka Bering: The deal is that you walk away, I never see you again, and you don't go to jail.
- Pete Lattimer: Fine, fine. Just answer one question and I'll leave you alone forever.
- Myka Bering: [considering then releasing him] Only because it's less paperwork.
- Myka Bering: Aftah Ya Simsm
- [Myka spoke the words to open Warehouse 13's backdoor that once was the entrance to Constantinople Warehouse. It's "Open Sesames" in Arabic]
- Artie Nielsen: Pete.
- [Artie Says Pete's name - THREE TIMES - after Pete BAMS the metal door three times]
- Pete Lattimer: What?
- Artie Nielsen: Pull.
- [Pete pulls the door open; Artie goes, "Yes"]
- Pete Lattimer: Would it hurt you to put up a sign?
- Artie Nielsen: What are you Doing?
- [Artie cuts a branch off MacPherson's Bonzi tree with a SICK sadism]
- Claudia Donovan: Trying to find away around the Security Protocols - SILENCE From The Landscaping Department, Please.
- [Claudia enunciates as if saying Silence From The Lambscaping Department]