- Pretty Boy Flizzy: I'd just like to apologize to all my fans for fighting in the V.I.P. section with Nicki Minaj. In my defense, I thought she was a robot sent from the future to kill me.
- Pretty Boy Flizzy: The Nicki Minaj thing was staged. She ain't really a cyborg, either. She's a nice girl.
- Sarah Dubois: No woman wakes up and says, "Gee I hope my man does everything I tell him to today." You're the man, Tom. Sometimes I want you to dominate! Take control! If I'm out of line, put me in check!
- Tom Dubois: Sure, Honey, whatever you say.
- Pretty Boy Flizzy: I'd just like to apologize to all my fans for smuggling automatic weapons from South American death squads. I made no excuses other than it was a really good deal and they were throwing in a lot of free ammunition.
- Pretty Boy Flizzy: I'd just like to apologize to all my fans for beating my hot R&B girlfriend. I let my fans down. Without you, I wouldn't even have an R&B girlfriend to beat.
- Tom Dubois: Please stop throwing money at me.
- Pretty Boy Flizzy: Things a bitch will never say. Hey, that's a song!