Game of Thrones (TV Series)

Valar Dohaeris (2013)

Peter Dinklage: Tyrion Lannister

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Quotes 

• Cersei Lannister : [referring to Tyrion's new quarters]  A bit of a comedown from chamber of the Hand. But then I don't suppose you need much room.

  Tyrion Lannister : Grand Maester Pycelle made the same joke. You must be proud to be as funny as a man whose balls brush his knees.

• Tyrion Lannister : I want what is mine by right. Jaime is your eldest son, heir to your lands and titles, but he is a Kingsguard, forbidden from marriage or inheritance. The day Jaime put on the white cloak, he gave up his claim to Casterly Rock. I am your son and lawful heir.

  Tywin Lannister : [nods]  You want Casterly Rock?

  Tyrion Lannister : It is mine by right.

  Tywin Lannister : We'll find you accommodations more suited to your name and as a reward for your accomplishments during the Battle of Blackwater Bay. And when the time is right, you will be given a position fit for your talents, so that you can serve your family and protect our legacy. And if you serve faithfully, you will be rewarded with a suitable wife - and I would let myself be consumed by maggots before mocking the family name and making you heir to Casterly Rock!

  Tyrion Lannister : [quietly]  Why?

  Tywin Lannister : [raises his voice in anger]  Why? You ask that? You who killed your mother to come into the world?

  [Tywin stands and approaches Tyrion, while talking to him contemptuously] 

  Tywin Lannister : You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the Gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither Gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go, now. Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock. Go!

  [Tywin returns to his seat. Tyrion is deeply hurt by his father's words, but says nothing. He stands and starts to leave] 

  Tywin Lannister : One more thing.

  [Tyrion stops and turns back to his father] 

  Tywin Lannister : The next whore I catch in your bed, I'll hang.

  [Tyrion leaves] 

• Cersei Lannister : You're a clever man. But you're not half as clever as you think you are.

  Tyrion Lannister : Still makes me more clever than you.

• Bronn : You've given me a taste for the finer things. And if you want me to carry on protecting you, you'll need to pay more.

  Tyrion Lannister : I thought we were friends.

  Bronn : We are, but I'm a sellsword. I sell my sword. I don't loan it out to friends as a favor.

  Tyrion Lannister : How much?

  Bronn : Double.

  Tyrion Lannister : Double?

  Bronn : I'm a knight now. Knights are worth double.

  Tyrion Lannister : I don't even know how much I'm paying you now.

  Bronn : Which means you can afford it.

• Tyrion Lannister : What are they doing here?

  Cersei Lannister : Protecting me... I assume. Will you let me in?

  Tyrion Lannister : No, I don't think so.

  Cersei Lannister : If I wanted to kill you, do you think I'd let a wooden door stop me?

  Tyrion Lannister : They stay outside!

  Cersei Lannister : I'm not afraid of you, little brother.

• Tyrion Lannister : Why do you care what I want from him?

  Cersei Lannister : Because you've slandered me to Father before.

  Tyrion Lannister : Slandered? When?

  Cersei Lannister : You told him I made my guards beat that servant girl at Casterly Rock.

  Tyrion Lannister : You did have your guards beat her. A girl of nine, I believe.

  Cersei Lannister : I was nine, too.

  Tyrion Lannister : She lost an eye, if I remember correctly.

  Cersei Lannister : If I remember correctly, she never stole a necklace again.

  [snickers] 

  Tyrion Lannister : It's not slander if it's true.