- Tyrion Lannister: [talks about Sansa] She's a child.
- Bronn: She's a foot taller than you.
- Tyrion Lannister: A tall child.
- Bronn: What's the youngest you've ever had?
- Tyrion Lannister: Not that young.
- Bronn: How much older?
- Tyrion Lannister: Older.
- Bronn: You're a lord, she's a lady, and a beauty at that. I don't see the problem.
- Tyrion Lannister: Shae's not going to like it.
- Bronn: Shae is a whore! Are you going to marry her? Eh? How did marrying a whore work out for you the first time?
- Tyrion Lannister: I should never have told you about that.
- Bronn: You want Shae, keep her. Wed one and bed the other. All you have to do is get a son in the Stark girl. He'll be lord of Winterfell one day; you can rule the North in his name. You'll have two women and a whole kingdom of your own.
- Tyrion Lannister: Two women to despise me and a whole kingdom to join them.
- Bronn: You waste time trying to get people to love you. You'll end up the most popular dead man in town.
- [Bronn chuckles]
- Bronn: You want to fuck that Stark girl. You just don't want to admit it.
- Tyrion Lannister: I don't pay you to put evil notions in my head. The ones already there don't need company.
- Bronn: You pay me to kill people who bother you. Evil notions come free.
- Joffrey Baratheon: Tell me about the Targaryen girl in the east. And her dragons.
- Tywin Lannister: Where did you hear about this?
- Joffrey Baratheon: Is it true?
- Tywin Lannister: Apparently so.
- Joffrey Baratheon: Don't you think we ought to do something about it?
- Tywin Lannister: When I was Hand of the King under your father's predecessor, the skulls of all the Targaryen dragons were kept in this room. And the skull of the last of them was right here. It was the size of an apple.
- Joffrey Baratheon: And the biggest was the size of a carriage.
- Tywin Lannister: Yes, and the creature to whom it belonged died 300 years ago. Curiosities on the far side of the world are no threat to us.
- Joffrey Baratheon: But how do we know that these dragons are just curiosities and not the beasts that brought the whole world to heel?
- Tywin Lannister: Because we have been told as much by the many experts who serve the realm by counseling the King on matters about which he knows nothing.
- Joffrey Baratheon: But I haven't been counseled.
- Tywin Lannister: You are being counseled at this very moment.
- Joffrey Baratheon: I should be consulted about such things.
- Tywin Lannister: From now on I will see to it that you are appropriately consulted on important matters. Whenever necessary.
- Barristan Selmy: The Yunkish are a proud people; they will not bend.
- Daenerys Targaryen: And what happens to things that don't bend?
- Jon Snow: Ygritte, you won't win. I know your people are brave, no one denies that.
- Ygritte: You know nothing, Jon...
- Jon Snow: Six times in last thousand years a King Beyond the Wall has attacked the Kingdoms. Six times they failed.
- Ygritte: And how do you know that?
- Jon Snow: Every boy in the North knows it. We grow up learning it. Where the battles were fought. The names of the heroes. Who died where. Six times you've invaded and six times you've failed. The seventh will be the same.
- Ygritte: Mance is different.
- Jon Snow: You don't have the discipline. You don't have the training. Your army is no army. You don't know how to fight together.
- Ygritte: You don't know that.
- Jon Snow: I do. I know it. If you attack the Wall, you'll die. All of you.
- Ygritte: All of us. You're mine as I'm yours. If we die, we die. But first, we'll live.
- Jon Snow: Yes, first we'll live.
- [Ramsay blows a horn while Theon has sex with Violet and Myranda]
- Ramsay Snow: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Terrible timing. But I was getting jealous. Well? Should we see this cock everyone's always going on about?
- [Theon tries to escape, but Ramsay smacks him with the horn]
- Ramsay Snow: Everyone knows you love girls. I bet you always thought they loved you back.
- [Ramsay produces a bizarre-shaped knife from his pocket]
- Ramsay Snow: Your famous cock must be very precious to you. Wouldn't you say it's your most important part?
- [Ramsay whistles and two guards come in]
- Theon Greyjoy: [sobs] Please. No. No! Mercy, please! Please, mercy! Mercy!
- Ramsay Snow: This *is* mercy. I'm not killing you. Just making a few alterations.
- [Ramsay and his men emasculate Theon]
- Theon Greyjoy: No! No! No! Please, no! No! NO! No, please! Please!
- Razdal mo Eraz: The wise Masters of Yunkai have sent a gift for the silver queen.
- [Razdal's slaves bring forward chests and open them, revealing many gold bars]
- Razdal mo Eraz: There is far more than this awaiting you on the deck of your ship.
- Daenerys Targaryen: My ship?
- Razdal mo Eraz: Yes, Khaleesi. As I said, we are a generous people. You shall have as many ships as you require.
- Daenerys Targaryen: And what do you ask in return?
- Razdal mo Eraz: All we ask is that you make use of these ships. Sail them back to Westeros where you belong, and leave us to conduct our affairs in peace.
- Daenerys Targaryen: [briefly contemplates the slaves] I have a gift for you as well. Your life.
- Razdal mo Eraz: My life?
- Daenerys Targaryen: And the lives of your wise Masters, but I also want something in return. You will release every slave in Yunkai. Every man, woman, and child shall be given as much food, clothing, and property as they can carry as payment for their years of servitude. Reject this gift and I shall show you no mercy.
- Razdal mo Eraz: You are mad. We are not Astapor or Qarth. We are Yunkai and we have powerful friends; friends who would take great pleasure in destroying you. Those who survive, we shall enslave once more. Perhaps we'll make a slave of you as well!
- [Razdal stands. One of the dragons menaces him]
- Razdal mo Eraz: You swore me safe conduct.
- Daenerys Targaryen: I did, but my dragons made no promises. And you threatened their mother.
- Razdal mo Eraz: Take the gold.
- [the slaves move to obey, but the dragons frighten them off]
- Daenerys Targaryen: My gold. You gave it to me, remember? And I shall put it to good use. You'd be wise to do the same with my gift to you. Now get out.
- Tywin Lannister: Your Grace.
- Joffrey Baratheon: Grandfather.
- Tywin Lannister: You wanted to speak to me?
- Joffrey Baratheon: Yes, I'd like a report on the meetings of my small council.
- Tywin Lannister: You're welcome to attend the meetings of your small council, Your Grace. Any or all of them.
- Joffrey Baratheon: I've been very busy. Many important matters require a king's attention.
- Tywin Lannister: Of course.
- Joffrey Baratheon: You've been holding the council meetings in the Tower of the Hand instead of the small council chamber.
- Tywin Lannister: I have, yes.
- Joffrey Baratheon: May I ask why?
- Tywin Lannister: The Tower of the Hand is where I work. To walk from there to here would take time, a time I could otherwise spend productively.
- Joffrey Baratheon: So if I wanted to attend a council meeting, I would now have to climb all the stairs in the Tower of the Hand?
- Tywin Lannister: We could arrange to have you carried.
- Catelyn Stark: Lord Walder is prickly by nature.
- Brynden 'Blackfish' Tully: Prickly? That what you call it? Might be the least pleasant man I've ever met.
- Catelyn Stark: Yes, and that is why...
- Brynden 'Blackfish' Tully: I've seen wet shits I liked better than Walder Frey.
- Roose Bolton: You will give my regards to Lord Tywin I trust.
- Jaime Lannister: Tell Robb Stark I'm sorry I couldn't make it to his uncle's wedding.
- Jaime Lannister: The Lannisters send their regards.
- Jaime Lannister: I owe you a debt.
- Brienne of Tarth: When Catelyn Stark released you, we both made a promise to her. Now it's your promise. You gave your word. Keep it and consider the debt paid.
- Jaime Lannister: [nods solemnly] I will return the Stark girls to their mother. I swear it.
- Brienne of Tarth: [nods] Good-bye, Ser Jaime.
- Shae: [receives gift] Chains?
- Tyrion Lannister: Solid gold from the mines outside Lannisport.
- [nods]
- Tyrion Lannister: Smithed in Casterly Rock.
- Shae: [unimpressed] Golden chains.
- Tyrion Lannister: You could buy a ship with these.
- Shae: Do I need a ship?
- Tyrion Lannister: What?
- Shae: Am I going somewhere?
- Tyrion Lannister: Of course you're not going anywhere.
- Shae: So, am I invited to your wedding?
- Tyrion Lannister: I didn't ask for this wedding. I didn't want it.
- Shae: No? She's a beautiful girl. You said so yourself.
- Tyrion Lannister: That doesn't mean... This is duty, not desire.
- Shae: Is that what you will tell yourself when you fuck her?
- Tyrion Lannister: I don't have a choice. My father...
- Shae: Does not rule the world. We can still go across the Narrow Sea.
- Tyrion Lannister: What would I do there? Juggle? I'm a Lannister... of Casterly Rock.
- Shae: And I'm Shae, the funny whore.
- Tyrion Lannister: My feelings for you have not changed. I will marry Sansa Stark and do my duty by her.
- Shae: While I empty her chamber pot and lick your cock when you're bored?
- Tyrion Lannister: I swear to you, it will not be like that.
- Shae: No? What will it be like?
- Tyrion Lannister: I will buy you a good home... somewhere in the city. You'll have fine clothes, guards to keep you safe, servants. Any children we might have... will be well provided for.
- Shae: Children? You think I want children who can never see their father? Who would be killed in their sleep if their grandfather found out about them?
- Tyrion Lannister: Listen. Listen to me, my lady...
- Shae: I'm not your lady.
- Tyrion Lannister: You are. You'll always be my lady.
- Shae: I'm your whore. And when you're tired of fucking me, I will be nothing.
- [Shae turns around, closes door, leaving Tyrion standing there]
- Missandei: Noble lord, you are in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.
- Robb Stark: [as Talisa lies casually on bed] How can I sit here planning a war when you're over there looking like that?
- Robb Stark: If you don't put some clothes on, I can't promise I won't attack you again.
- Talisa Stark: [playfully] Attack, attack...!
- [Brienne is forced to fight a bear with a wooden sword in an arena]
- Locke: Well this is one shameful fucking performance. Stop running away and fight!
- Jaime Lannister: A wooden sword?
- Locke: I thought you'd gone.
- Jaime Lannister: You gave her a wooden sword!
- Locke: Only got one bear.
- Jaime Lannister: I'll pay your bloody ransom. Gold, Sapphires, just get her out of there!
- Locke: All you lords and ladies. You think that the only thing that matters is gold.
- Locke: [holds up Jaime's stump] This makes me happier than all your gold ever could.
- Locke: [points to Brienne in the arena] And that makes me happier than all her sapphires.
- Locke: [back to Jaime] So go buy yourself a golden hand, and FUCK yourself with it!
- [last lines]
- Jaime Lannister: We must be on our way.
- Jaime Lannister: [tauntingly to Locke] Sorry about the sapphires.