The Mentalist (TV Series)

Something Rotten in Redmund (2012)

Simon Baker: Patrick Jane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grace Van Pelt : Hey, how did you know Billy was having an affair with the teacher?

  Patrick Jane : They both had leaves on them from their make-out spot in the woods.

  Grace Van Pelt : That's it?

  Patrick Jane : Well, plus I could see she liked him. She was meaner to him than the other kids. You know, like Lisbon is to me.

  Teresa Lisbon : [Clicks tongue]  Shut up!

  Patrick Jane : See?

• Teresa Lisbon : 11 years in Catholic school and I never got sent to the Principal's office once.

  Patrick Jane : Well that's because you're a boring goody two shoes.

  Teresa Lisbon : I didn't say I never did anything bad. I just never got caught.

• Patrick Jane : [speaking to the audience of a high school performance of Shakespeare's "Hamlet"]  Thank you, you've been a lovely audience. Sorry we had to close early, but you get the general idea. Pretty much everyone dies. Poisoning. Stabbing. Yeah, it's all very sad. The Scandinavians, huh? Gloomy bunch. Oh, and by the way, don't do anything naughty in the bathrooms. Principal Snyder has hidden cameras in there.

  [the audience murmurs and Principal Snyder buries his head in his hand in shame] 

  Patrick Jane : Illegal? Yes. Immoral? You decide. Good night.

  [He bows] 

• [Jane and Van Pelt are slumped onto Jane's couch watching video surveillance from the high school principal's "illegal" feed] 

  Grace Van Pelt : We've watched 60 hours' worth of footage. I think it's a dead end.

  Patrick Jane : Patience, grasshopper.

  Grace Van Pelt : I am being patient.

  Patrick Jane : There. Back that up.

  Grace Van Pelt : Okay.

  Patrick Jane : Can you... can you grow that? Can you... can you biggify it?

  Grace Van Pelt : [Smirking]  I can do a digital zoom.

  Patrick Jane : Good.

• Patrick Jane : High school, huh? Must bring back some memories for you. Friday nights, your friends from band, strapping on those funny hats.

  Teresa Lisbon : You know what? I am not gonna take the bait.

• Patrick Jane : Cheap power suit, phone holster, Bluetooth, large watch. Has "petty tyrant" written all over him.

• Jeremiah : Are you one of the cops?

  Patrick Jane : Cop-adjacent, maybe.

• Ms. Austin : Any notes for Billy, our Hamlet?

  Patrick Jane : Well, remember, Billy, never break character, even if you forget your lines. I mean, the audience will never know, as long as you keep going.

  Ms. Austin : Thank you. I have been telling him that.

  Patrick Jane : And Hamlet's not as pleased with himself as you are, so, uh, dial that back a touch.

• Patrick Jane : How'd you know it was me that graffiti'd the bathroom?

  Principal Snyder : A student told me.

  Patrick Jane : Well, that's strange, 'cause it was during class, and there was no one else in the bathroom, 'cause I checked.

  Principal Snyder : Well, somebody saw something, didn't they?

  Patrick Jane : Mm. You saw something - on your unauthorized security cameras.

  Teresa Lisbon : What?

  Patrick Jane : He has unauthorized security cameras hidden in the bathrooms. It's a little creepy, huh?

  Principal Snyder : I don't know where you are getting your information, but it is simply not true!

  Patrick Jane : [Opens a cupboard revealing the video feeds]  Oh! Oh! Hello! Pervy perv perv!

• Patrick Jane : How did he get the black eye?

  Principal Snyder : He said that he was playing basketball with some students after school.

  Patrick Jane : But you didn't believe him?

  Principal Snyder : Well, why would he lie? Of course I believed him.

  Patrick Jane : No, you didn't.

  Principal Snyder : Well, why would I lie?

  Patrick Jane : Probably just bureaucratic instinct.

• Patrick Jane : Ahh! Bad kids, at last!

• Patrick Jane : Perhaps you can help me out. I'm trying to find the delinquents. Well, I found one myself - or at least his shoes - but he managed to get away.

  Principal Snyder : I don't think they're gonna help you much. Mr. McTierney taught mostly advanced classes.

  Patrick Jane : Yes, but it's the bad apples that have the real dirt.