Meet the Engineer (2007 Video)
Gary Schwartz: Heavy
Quotes
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Engineer : [the Engineer is sitting on a toolbox in front of his truck, playing guitar, in front of an unseen fire. Next to him is a level 1 sentry gun, and a kill counter at 209] Hey look, buddy, I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems.
[a gunshot ricochet off his truck is ignored]
Engineer : Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.
[two more gunshot ricochets, glanced briefly at]
Engineer : I solve practical problems.
[he swigs a bottle of beer while his level 1 sentry shoots a Heavy off screen]
Heavy : [screams]
Engineer : [puts the beer down and keeps playing guitar, the kill counter goes up to 210] For instance...
[an unknown figure off to the Engineer's left starts sneaking up in the distance]
Engineer : How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?
[the sentry gun spots and shoots this person too, bring the counter to 211]
Engineer : The answer...
[a second, level 2 sentry gun kills an offscreen Scout and someone else]
Scout : [screams]
Engineer : [the counter goes up to 213] Use a gun. And if that don't work,
[a level three sentry fires rockets]
Engineer : use more gun.
[he stops playing guitar again. The rockets hit their mark and the Engineer grins]
Scout : MY ARM!
[the counter goes to 214 and an arm lands in front of the Engineer]
Engineer : [He resumes playing] Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me,
[he kicks the hand into the air and the small sentry shoots it]
Engineer : built by me,
[the same sentry shoots a soldier off screen, counter to 215]
Engineer : and you'd best hope... not pointed at you.
[pan out to reveal more BLU team members attempting to approach the Engineer, as he keeps playing with near the stolen truck, beer, and intelligence briefcases. The "campfire" was actually a BLU Sniper body]
