(2010 Video)

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In the world of crap parodies, the one-eyed monster is king
lor_30 June 2016
The Brazzers website yields this 5-full-hours long compilation of various parodies, which have the virtue of brevity.

Longest is opener "Pump Fiction" lasting nearly an hour. It's stupid, but for me more disappointing in that my favorite Sean Michaels does a poor job with his curly wig Sam Jackson impression, missing a great opportunity. When not shilling for Capital Bank or other pillars of our consumer society on TV commercials Samuel L. has made an acting career ripping off the screen persona of Field Marshal Bradley, that wonderful video porn star of the '80s who apparently has been completely wiped out of folks' memories, like Vince McMahon's removal of "WWF" (after losing a lawsuit) and pretending it was always "WWE".

I saw dozens of Bradley's features back in the day and when I discovered SLJ in his Spike Lee movies I wasn't prepared for his flat-out appropriation of the Marshal's screen shtick. No one else seems to notice but I feel compelled to call him out on such an obvious lift. Michaels also is oblivious to the connection and plays Sam flatly, not out of respect to the Field Marshal.

Inscrutable sloppiness takes place in two segments of "Wedding Crazzers", oddly titled Parts 1 and 4 when nothing in between seems missing. There's plenty of in- jokes about Brazzers being headquartered in Montreal, even though the videos are shot in Chatsworth or sometimes London, England. Marcus London in non-sex guise plays father of the bride and prime minister, presumably from Canada though the wedding is taking place in California. This take-off is pretty odd, with plenty of extras even getting rare (for Brazzers) screen credits, and Julia Ann looking fabulous as usual a MILF in residence. One of the crashers, in the Vince role, is Jordan Ash who doesn't get any pussy -perhaps his big scene was in the missing Part 2 or 3.

Half of the segments have an old screen ratio (looks like 1.85:1 compared to widescreen 2.35:1 for the usual stuff), betraying the differing ages of this vault material. Brett Brando takes on-screen director credit for several, usually remaining anonymous.

Perhaps he attended film school before becoming a wayward porn helmer, as the spoof of that Aronofsky art film "Requiem for a Dream" is loaded with arresting camera angles & movements and pretentious editing to mock his betters. It's billed as a "pornographic adaptation by Brando & Derwood", latter a writer, but is just as much rip-off as any other so-called "parody". Scott Nails and Courney Cummz walk and hump through it robotically. Cummz also has a supporting role in the "Wedding" spoof.

The other segments are really bad and uninspired. Another Tarantino piece of junk, Kill Bill becomes "Kill Ramon" in honor of Ramon Nomar, who is both dubbed in English and gets to speak a bit in Spanish in pointless fashion. It's merely an excuse for Audrey Bitoni and Riley Evans to square off with swords. "Fuck Club" is reimagined as lesbians humping for supremacy one at a time with Keiran Lee their human sex doll - really asinine. "Big Butt Moan" bears little relationship to the original as Diamond Kitty humps Nails and the IR angle is ignored. Perhaps the untalented pornographers (Brando maybe?) thought they were casting Diamond Jackson and went ahead and shot it non-IR when Kitty showed up instead.
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