- Matt has to throw out a half-naked Labia who has climbed into his kitchen. Whilst make-up men do their best to salvage Morning's botched plastic surgery Beverly meets her attractive brother,whom Carol thinks she should date. Merc feels that Matt should get a former 'Friends' co-star to appear on the show to boost ratings but they all refuse except the man who played Gunther the waiter and Matt is shocked that he is still in touch with all the cast members who have shunned him.Beverly and Sean get drunk whilst writing speech for Matt at a presentation for Merc. They start to have sex but Sean claims he is unable to and walks out.—don @ minifie-1
- Matt promises Merc, who wants to boost the slipping Pucks series and Matt's star status, to help recruit one of his Friends-co-stars as guest star, but they all are 'too busy' and mistrust blabbermouth Matt, whose calls only make things worse, so he has to do with shady Gunther-performer James Michael Tyler. Matt commandeers Sean and Bev to write a speech he may have to give in Merc's honor, but it's not their thing, so they seek inspiration in alcohol, thus discover a colleague's secrets, but even drunk Sean can't get over Bev's infidelity with Matt, while she isn't bothered by his, her own past or present taste for Carol's smoking-sexy brother Rob (James Purefoy). Matt is startled by his stalker's latest intrusion and knowledge about his household but calmly disposes of her.—KGF Vissers
- Matt comes home to find a naked Labia in his kitchen. "I was hoping you wouldn't come home yet because the cookies aren't ready yet," she tells him.
She suggests he tells Rosa to check the locks. He's disturbed she knows his housekeeper's name. She offers him milk with his cookies. He takes beer.
She appreciates how much closer this rental is than his beach house, which is almost not worth the drive all the way out to sit outside it.
He suggests she put some clothes on and also, leave.
She pleads that she has cancer. He reminds her she had cancer, but is better now, which is why he feels fine telling her to get the eff out of his house, "you loony toons freak!"
The cookies are done. Matt threatens to call the police and suggests she put her clothes on and not be there when they arrive. She gets dressed, telling him she loves him more than anyone else. "I would die for you," she says. "Yea, but you didn't," he says.
On set, the FX guys try to figure out how to mask Morning's disastrous cheek implant. Morning introduces her "kid brother" Rob, who is at least Beverly's age.
Merc calls Matt about the Man of the Year Award he's supposed to present him. He suggests Matt avoid any bald jokes because he might get microplugs. Merc wants something from "Pucks" to promote during sweeps weeks. He wants Matt to get him "one of the 'Friends'."
Matt finds it weird that a couple weeks ago Merc was cutting his part and now he's asking for favors. But Merc promises if he gets any 'Friend', all sweeps promotion will be about Matt. Matt agrees to make a few calls.
In the studio they test the results of the blue patch the FX guys worked up for Morning. It successfully hides her fallen implant.
Later, Morning tells Beverly her brother is interested in her. But Beverly says she's not doing anything until she's sure of what's happening with Sean. Morning gently rubs her shoulder and gives her a pity look.
On a walk with Carol, Beverly complains: "I'm getting pity looks from Morning!"
Carol wonders if it's time to move on. Beverly tells her about Morning's thing with Sean. Carol suggests it'd make a great show. If someone pitched her a husband and wife get divorced and end up with a brother and sister, she'd buy it in the room.
On set, Matt tries calling Lisa Kudrow. We only hear his end, as he asks her to guest star. But first she wants him to apologize. He doesn't remember saying whatever he said, but says he's incredibly sorry.
"Seriously, a person can't make an innocent comment one time.... Jesus! When did I say that?"
He tries David Schwimmer. "I don't know what joke you're talking about, tell me what I said to you.... How is that anti-Semitic....Oh, no, I can see that.... You gotta admit, though, it's still kind of funny."
Then Matthew Perry, who knows he's not the first one he called. "Schwimmer's an a---hole." Cut to: "I never said you were an a---hole....I don't know, he was probably high."
Back to: "If I said you were high, I was obviously kidding. It was a joke!...So you and Schwimmer still talk a lot?"
Beverly asks Matt about the 'Friends' thing.
Matt asks Beverly and Sean if they could write something for him to say about Merc at the award dinner. "The sooner the better -- in case I don't like you, you can take another pass."
The teenage kids heard they're getting a 'Friend' and Matt confirms it.
Matt tries Jennifer Aniston, but her old phone is disconnected and her assistant won't give him the new one.
Beverly and Sean get nowhere fast on Matt's speech. They order in dinner. Beverly recaps what they know about Merc: "He lied to us completely, destroyed our TV show, he's cheating on his wife and he's only got one testicle."
Back home, Matt tries Courteney, who can't do it either. And won't give him Jen's number. "I so did not pee on her Emmy, because I would never do that. Yea I pulled it out, but I never peed. Never! Never! Well, I dribbled, but c'mon, it was ten years ago!"
Still writing at the studio, Sean wonders why they're writing sober. They head to Jerry the writer's room and Sean finds the pen Morning gave him with the filthy acronym. Beverly looks at it and Sean decides it's not his and puts it back.
They find the booze stash. Sean grabs the pen.
Back in their office, Beverly asks about Sean's mother. She always hated Beverly for splitting up his first marriage. Sean confesses he hasn't told his mother they're separated, because he didn't want to give her the satisfaction.
Beverly asks Sean about being with Morning. He says it was twice. He tells her the second time was after the cheek debacle and she was grateful that she wasn't going to get fired. He asks her if she's dating.
She tries to make a joke of it, but tells him she's been saving herself for him. "Are you going to kiss me soon?" she asks. "Thinking about it," he says. "Do it." "Bossy." "You like it bossy." "I do."
They kiss. He pauses. "I don't know whether to savor every moment or just bash right through," he says. "I say bash," she says. They take each other's clothes off and start to do it on top of their desk.
It does not go well. Sean keeps picturing Beverly with Matt. He stops. He apologizes. "I'm sorry, I love you. You know that, but I can't do this anymore."
He leaves her alone on her desk.
At the studio, Carol learns the "Friends" promo is happening today.
On the set, they shoot the scene. Pan over and we see which "Friend" they got: Gunter.
After, "Gunter" tells Matt he's the only one he's not in contact with. He house sits for Jen when she's in New York. But he won't give him her number.
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