- Jim Halpert: Side effects of EMF include headaches.
- Dwight Schrute: Had them all my life.
- Jim Halpert: Breast pain.
- Dwight Schrute: [Pointing to his chest] No knobbies, no probbies. Nice try Jim.
- Dwight Schrute: [Toby uses tester on wall as Erin marks wall with red tape X] Oh, god.
- Phyllis Vance: What's going on?
- Dwight Schrute: Nothing! Nothing is going on. Keep moving, please.
- Stanley Hudson: What's he measuring?
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, excuse me. I am the landlord. This is between me and the management, no one else. Please.
- Toby Flenderson: It's an EMF hotspot.
- Phyllis Vance: [Gasps] Oh my god!
- Oscar Martinez: It stands for electromagnetic field, generally caused by a concentration of wiring in one area
- [Erin marks red tape X on the floor]
- Oscar Martinez: especially if they're poorly insulated. Dwight.
- Andy Bernard: Um, Okay I'm just walking into this. Am I to understand there is a bee hive in the wall?
- Toby Flenderson: You think I have a machine for measuring bee hives?
- Andy Bernard: I was just asking a question, Toby. How are you not murdered every hour?
- Stanley Hudson: Well I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven.
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, listen. Everything here is up to code.
- Jim Halpert: Dwight? Why are you such a jerk? I am triying to do something for my wife, and you keep...
- Dwight Schrute: I'm barren, Jim.
- Jim Halpert: What?
- Dwight Schrute: My trouser hives are void of honey. I had congress with Angela, and the child that she bore did not issue from my loins. Thought I would be a father, and instead I am eunuch neutered by my own building.
- Jim Halpert: Is this about the popcorn, or the X on the ceiling? Dwight, that was a prank.
- Dwight Schrute: You mean you flooded my building with dangerous electromagnetic radiation as a prank?
- Jim Halpert: No
- Dwight Schrute: That's genius. That's the best prank you've ever done.
- Jim Halpert: I'll take it.
- Pam Beesly: [singing the shibuya role call song] My name is Pam, I like to paint, you think you're better, oh no you ain't!
- Kevin Malone: [singing] My name is Kevin, that is my name, they call me Kevin, cuz that's my name
- Kevin Malone: I insult you, Oscar.
- Oscar Martinez: What?
- Kevin Malone: I insult you. To your face.
- Oscar Martinez: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Kevin Malone: Then why don't you do something about it?
- Oscar Martinez: Kevin, are you trying to get me to hit you in the face with my pie?
- Kevin Malone: You don't have the guts. You stupid. Dumb. Doo-Doo face.
- Kevin Malone: That's only 20 minutes from now. The pie shop is 13 miles away. So at 55 miles an hour, that just gives us 5 minutes to spare.
- Angela Martin-Lipton: So wait, when pies are involved you can suddenly do math in your head?
- Oscar Martinez: Hold on, Kevin. How much is 19154 pies divided by 61 pies?
- Kevin Malone: 314 pies.
- Oscar Martinez: What if it were salads?
- Kevin Malone: Well... it's the... carry the 4... it doesn't work.
- Erin Hannon: Don't tell Andy, because...
- Nellie Bertram: He hates me, thinks I'm a monster. Should go back to Loch Ness.