Modern Family (TV Series)

Bringing Up Baby (2012)

Julie Bowen: Claire Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Claire Dunphy : Were you drinking?

  Haley Dunphy : Mom, do we really have to do this? You ask if I was drinking, I say 'no', and we both know that that's not true. I mean, aren't we past this point in our relationship?

  Claire Dunphy : No, young lady, we are not!

  Haley Dunphy : Then I wasn't drinking.

  Dylan Marshall : [On the couch]  Me neither, Mrs. D.

  Claire Dunphy : Dear God. Tell me he did not spend the night here.

  Haley Dunphy : Mom, do we really have to do this?

• Claire Dunphy : Here. Drink this. It's for your hangover.

  Haley Dunphy : Ugh. It smells gross.

  Claire Dunphy : Well, then you better drink it fast.

  Haley Dunphy : [Drinking it and running out, gagging]  Ew! I'm gonna throw up! Ugh! Ugh!

  Alex Dunphy : [Sniffing the contents]  Ugh! That's a hangover cure?

  Claire Dunphy : No.

• Claire Dunphy : [Leaving Jay a voicemail]  Dad, call me back. I have something very important to tell you so when you get home, you don't say something stupid like you usually do. Oh, happy birthday.

• Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : It was a surprise.

  Claire Dunphy : Yeah, I'll bet. What did my dad say?

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I haven't told him yet. I worry that he's going to think it's not such great news.

  Claire Dunphy : Ohh, no. Don't be silly. He's gonna be thrilled.

  [In interview] 

  Claire Dunphy : I knew he wasn't gonna be thrilled. and if history was any indication, he wasn't gonna be able to hide it.

  Cameron Tucker : [Flashback to dinner with Mitch and Cam]  It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.

  Jay Pritchett : Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not 'pou-ting' it in my mouth.

  [flashback to her and Jay having dinner with Cameron and Mitchell] 

  Cameron Tucker : It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.

  Jay Pritchett : Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.

  [Cut to another flashback at the Dunphy house] 

  Jay Pritchett : We're here!

  Claire Dunphy : [Comes out with brunette hair, singsongy]  Hi!

  Jay Pritchett : What'd you do to your hair?

  Claire Dunphy : I thought I'd try something different.

  Jay Pritchett : What, looking old?

  Claire Dunphy : I thought I'd try something different.

  Claire Dunphy : [Back to current interview]  I had to get to Dad before he said something insensitive to Gloria. But she is gonna get really fat, though.

• Haley Dunphy : For whatever it's worth, Dylan was very responsible last night. He's a good guy to have around the house.

  Claire Dunphy : Mm. Where are we going with this?

  Haley Dunphy : Well, since I can't move in with him anymore, he can't afford his apartment. So I was wondering if it would be okay if he could stay with us for a couple weeks?

  Claire Dunphy : Sure. Oh, you know what? Why don't you guys take our room?

  Haley Dunphy : Aw!

  Alex Dunphy : She's being facetious.

  [Haley gives her a blank stare] 

  Alex Dunphy : Sarcastic.

  [Haley still looks confused] 

  Alex Dunphy : Dylan no stay.

  Haley Dunphy : What? Oh, come on! He'd help out a lot. He's very handy.

  Alex Dunphy : Really? The guy who locked himself *in* his car?

  Claire Dunphy : You are in no position to be asking for favors, young lady.

• Claire Dunphy : Ooh! How was prom?

  Alex Dunphy : So fun. Michael and I danced all night...

  Claire Dunphy : Uh-huh.

  Alex Dunphy : And then we stayed after and helped clean up, which was awesome because I got to meet next year's trig teacher.

  Claire Dunphy : That is not the prom I remember.

  Haley Dunphy : [Hung over]  I have such a bad headache.

  Claire Dunphy : That's the prom I remember.

• Claire Dunphy : Dad? Dad, okay, quick. Just come here one second. I gotta tell you something. Somebody is about to tell you some very important news. And for the first time in your life, I need you to react nicely.

  Jay Pritchett : [In a low voice]  I always react nicely.

  Claire Dunphy : [In a low voice]  You never do. And this person in question is very vulnerable right now, so could you please just be loving and supportive?

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Comes in with Cam and Lily]  Happy birthday, Dad!

  Jay Pritchett : Oh, thank you. Hey. That's my boy. Hi. Mwah.

  Cameron Tucker : Sorry we're late, but it's for a good reason - we're thinking about getting a cat.

  Claire Dunphy : Oh.

  Jay Pritchett : Well, isn't that wonderful? I'm thrilled for you both. This is a heck of a decision. You have my full support.

  [Glances at Claire, who tries to indicate it's the wrong news] 

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Unsure how to react]  Okay?

  Jay Pritchett : I think it'll be a perfect addition to the family. I know I'll love the heck out of the little bugger.

  [Points at Stella on the stairs] 

  Jay Pritchett : I'm just hoping that little one over there doesn't get jealous.

  Manny Delgado : [Standing next to Stella]  Oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands - in the shadow of your new baby!

  Jay Pritchett : What's he talking about?

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : He's talking about I am pregnant.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, come on!

  Cameron Tucker : Pregnant?

• Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I'm pregnant.

  Claire Dunphy : [Gasps and whispers]  You're gonna fat.

• Phil Dunphy : [about pregnant Gloria]  She looks great, doesn't she?

  Claire Dunphy : Yeah. Not really gaining weight the way I would've expected.

  Phil Dunphy : I finally understand why people say pregnant women glow.

  Claire Dunphy : Phil, I've had three children.

• Haley Dunphy : [With a fake pregnant belly]  This feels so weird.

  Dylan Marshall : It suits you.

  Claire Dunphy : [Takes a soccer ball out from under her shirt]  Don't even joke about it. That's it. He is moving out of the house tomorrow.

  Phil Dunphy : Really?

  Claire Dunphy : Mm-hmm. Oh, and that beard is going.

  Phil Dunphy : Fine. But it's gonna kill Shorty.

• Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Okay, everybody, let's gather together. Manny's gonna read us a little something that he prepare in his poetry camp.

  Manny Delgado : Thank you, Mom. This is for my new baby brother or sister.

  [Opens his notebook] 

  Manny Delgado : 'Welcome, little one. Open your eyes and take your place. This is where you're meant to be, nestled in the bosom of your mother.'

  Phil Dunphy : Lucky baby.

  Claire Dunphy : What?

  Phil Dunphy : Love you, baby.

  Manny Delgado : 'This is where you're meant to be, in the arms of your father. His long, long journey has readied him for this day, though his skin my be loose, his hair but a wisp, and his eyes milky with age, you' ...

  Jay Pritchett : All right, we're done here.

• Dylan Marshall : Don't feel bad about making me move out, Mrs. D. I knew this day would come eventually, and I'm totally covered.

  Claire Dunphy : Great. So we'll see you around.

  Dylan Marshall : I got a place with an old friend of mine. Well, not so much of a place as a storage pod. And not so much of a... friend as a raccoon.

  Claire Dunphy : Good to know you'll have company.

  Dylan Marshall : I call him Bubbles because his mouth is all foamy.

  Claire Dunphy : Dylan, I am on to your little game. I know none of this is true. You're just trying to guilt me into letting you stay.

  Dylan Marshall : You're right. I'm sorry.

  Claire Dunphy : Mm-hmm.

  Dylan Marshall : I'll just live in my car. Think I can borrow a coat hanger in case I get locked in there ag -

  [Claire shuts the door in his face]