Modern Family (TV Series)

Bringing Up Baby (2012)

Emily Happe: Cat Lady

Quotes 

• Mitchell Pritchett : All right, take a whiff. Make sure you like it, 'cause that's what our couch is gonna smell like.

  Cameron Tucker : Okay, hi. Yes, we're gonna take this one.

  Cat Lady : Oh, I'm gonna need you to slow down a bit. There's a process we need to go through to see if you're a suitable cat guardian.

  Cameron Tucker : Oh, really? Because I thought the process was I say 'We'll take this one', and then you say 'Thank God because we have too many cats'.

  Cat Lady : No. We need to ensure these cats are going to good homes. That's why we need you to fill out this form, and then there'll be a site visit.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Okay, um, we've just been through a very frustrating year trying to adopt a baby, so... you'll forgive us if we're not really in the mood to jump through too many hoops for a cat.

  Cat Lady : Oh. Why wouldn't they give you a baby?

  Cameron Tucker : It's complicated.

  Cat Lady : So are cats.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Are they? Because that one over there's been licking itself ever since we got here.

• Cameron Tucker : Mitchell stormed off, but I couldn't. I had to give her a piece of my mind.

  Mitchell Pritchett : And how'd that go?

  Cameron Tucker : I may have strayed off topic just a bit.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah.

  Cameron Tucker : [In flashback]  No, sir! No, she will always be Norma Jean Baker to me.

  Cat Lady : What is your point, exactly?

  Cameron Tucker : That like the thrice-married starlet, this cat is being deprived a stable home.

  Cat Lady : I'm sorry if you're upset.

  Cameron Tucker : You're the one who should be upset, ma'am. We are animal lovers.

  [Behind them, Mitchell 'dances' the car, with the stuffed animals on top looking like they're humping] 

  Cameron Tucker : That cat would've been on the receiving end of affection 24 hours a day. Satisfying its every need would've been our top priority.

  [Turns and sees the car] 

  Cameron Tucker : Okay, in light of that tableau, I would like to take back the phrase 'receiving end'.