Modern Family (TV Series)
Bringing Up Baby (2012)
Rico Rodriguez: Manny Delgado
Photos
Quotes
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Phil Dunphy : We're back! Birthday boy's here.
Manny Delgado : Hey, Jay, you're all wrinkled.
Jay Pritchett : Yeah, yeah, I'm old. I get it.
Manny Delgado : No, I mean your clothes.
Jay Pritchett : Yeah, when I was your age, I was wearing animal skins. Bam! You got me.
Manny Delgado : I think bam! You got yourself. I'm just expressing concern.
Jay Pritchett : Let me guess - about my bone density. You know, you're a real smart-ass.
Manny Delgado : [to himself] At this rate, I'll be living in the basement.
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Manny Delgado : [Jay asks for a quiet, surprise-free birthday] I don't blame you, Jay. You've had enough excitement in one lifetime; the dawn of flight, printed books, agriculture.
Jay Pritchett : All right, what's with all the jokes?
Manny Delgado : It's insult comedy. I've been watching old Dean Martin roasts online.
[to Gloria]
Manny Delgado : Like this guy knows from the Internet. The other morning, I saw him looking for the crank on the front of his car!
Jay Pritchett : Okay, you're done.
Manny Delgado : I make fun, and we laugh. But in all seriousness, if you see a light today, don't walk towards it!
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Manny Delgado : Mom, I have a big decision to make about poetry camp this summer.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Is this about the walking sticks again? Pack them all and decide when you're there.
Manny Delgado : I can either focus on sonnets or free verse. I've always fancied myself a sonneteer, but I'm thinking the free verse girls will be freer with everything, if you catch my meaning.
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Manny Delgado : How did Jay take it?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I haven't been able to tell him yet.
Manny Delgado : He might not be too thrilled.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Do you think? I was starting to wonder the same thing.
Manny Delgado : He doesn't deal well with change.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I know. He still checks the front step for the evening paper.
Manny Delgado : Don't worry, mom. I'm sure he'll adapt. Although, he still does call the remote the 'clicker'.
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Manny, sit down. I have to tell you something.
Manny Delgado : What?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I am pregnant.
Manny Delgado : You're what?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : I'm going to have a baby.
Manny Delgado : Wow.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What? You're not happy?
Manny Delgado : Yeah, sure. It's just a lot to take in. And I'll be honest, this isn't coming at a great time for me, with everything I've got going on.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : This is not your responsibility.
Manny Delgado : Neither is our wooden salad bowl, but I'm the only one who oils it. Without me, that thing would soak up dressing like a sponge.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Manny, I can take care of a baby. I took care of you.
Manny Delgado : Please. I was an anomaly. I self-potty trained.
[In interview]
Manny Delgado : I just did not get the appeal of intentionally soiling one's pants. That said, I will admit to missing the kisses on my tummy.
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Phil Dunphy : Jay has been very explicit about what he wants to do for his 65th birthday, but Phil Dunphy reads between the lines.
Jay Pritchett : [Being kidnapped] What the hell is going on? What are you doing?
Phil Dunphy : Making your birthday dreams come true.
Shorty : [Zip-tying his wrists] It's your special day, buddy. Should we put him in the trunk?
Phil Dunphy : Why would we put him in the trunk?
Shorty : You said there were no bad ideas.
Jay Pritchett : Get this stupid thing off me!
Phil Dunphy : I thought you said the hood would calm him down.
Miles : It works with my falcon.
Shorty : Don't worry, Gloria. We'll have him back in time for dinner.
Manny Delgado : Which for him is at 4:00 in the afternoon.
Phil Dunphy : [laughing] 'Cause he's old! I love it!
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Jay Pritchett : Good morning!
Manny Delgado : There's the birthday boy! 65 candles on one cake. This is a big day for you... and for the astronauts who can see it from space.
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Manny Delgado : Mom, I've decided I'm not going to poetry camp.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What? Why not?
Manny Delgado : 'Cause by the time I come back, Jay will have turned my room into a nursery.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : No, he won't.
Manny Delgado : I'm not his real kid. I'll be as insignificant as a whisper in a windstorm.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Oh, listen to you. You have a gift. You have to go to the poetry camp.
Manny Delgado : I don't think I can risk it.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Manny, please. I have too much to worry about right now. Okay?
Manny Delgado : You? I dug a pretty big hole for myself with those insult jokes this morning. Why didn't I learn from Rickles? You gotta end with some ticker.
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Claire Dunphy : Dad? Dad, okay, quick. Just come here one second. I gotta tell you something. Somebody is about to tell you some very important news. And for the first time in your life, I need you to react nicely.
Jay Pritchett : [In a low voice] I always react nicely.
Claire Dunphy : [In a low voice] You never do. And this person in question is very vulnerable right now, so could you please just be loving and supportive?
Mitchell Pritchett : [Comes in with Cam and Lily] Happy birthday, Dad!
Jay Pritchett : Oh, thank you. Hey. That's my boy. Hi. Mwah.
Cameron Tucker : Sorry we're late, but it's for a good reason - we're thinking about getting a cat.
Claire Dunphy : Oh.
Jay Pritchett : Well, isn't that wonderful? I'm thrilled for you both. This is a heck of a decision. You have my full support.
[Glances at Claire, who tries to indicate it's the wrong news]
Mitchell Pritchett : [Unsure how to react] Okay?
Jay Pritchett : I think it'll be a perfect addition to the family. I know I'll love the heck out of the little bugger.
[Points at Stella on the stairs]
Jay Pritchett : I'm just hoping that little one over there doesn't get jealous.
Manny Delgado : [Standing next to Stella] Oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands - in the shadow of your new baby!
Jay Pritchett : What's he talking about?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : He's talking about I am pregnant.
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, come on!
Cameron Tucker : Pregnant?
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Luke Dunphy : I've gotta say, you're handling this baby thing better than I would've expected.
Manny Delgado : What do you mean?
Luke Dunphy : You're used to being the only kid in the house. Now there's gonna be a new kid. *Jay's* kid.
Manny Delgado : So?
Luke Dunphy : Well, the old Manny would've been worried that Jay would love the new kid more.
Manny Delgado : I think you're underestimating how adorable I am.
Luke Dunphy : You're right. You're way cuter than a baby. I'm gonna go check on dinner.
[In interview]
Luke Dunphy : Sometimes I just like to toss a grenade and run away.
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Okay, everybody, let's gather together. Manny's gonna read us a little something that he prepare in his poetry camp.
Manny Delgado : Thank you, Mom. This is for my new baby brother or sister.
[Opens his notebook]
Manny Delgado : 'Welcome, little one. Open your eyes and take your place. This is where you're meant to be, nestled in the bosom of your mother.'
Phil Dunphy : Lucky baby.
Claire Dunphy : What?
Phil Dunphy : Love you, baby.
Manny Delgado : 'This is where you're meant to be, in the arms of your father. His long, long journey has readied him for this day, though his skin my be loose, his hair but a wisp, and his eyes milky with age, you' ...
Jay Pritchett : All right, we're done here.