- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than all the other chickens to absorb its power. And to make a nice Kiev.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: So there I am, topless, sittin' on this bulldozer, like, in a construction site. So I'm sittin' there, barbeque sauce on my titties, and I'm like, "What the fuck? Again?"
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: You-this is all your fault.
- Piper Chapman: huh?
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: You been blabbin' all over about the chicken haven't you?
- Piper Chapman: ...not really but even if I did you never told me it was a secret.
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: Because I thought you had more common sense... black girls know about chicken, of course they'll chase it.
- Piper Chapman: ...why? Cause all black people like chicken?
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: Don't be racist - it's because they're all on heroin.
- Aleida Diaz: You think Barbies grow on trees? You think toilets grow on trees? Huh?
- Eva Diaz: No.
- Aleida Diaz: What grows on trees?
- Eva Diaz: Nothing.
- Aleida Diaz: That's right.
- Sophia Burset: Why did God have to give me that stupid penis?
- Sister Jane Ingalls: I don't know. Any more than I know why he gave men nipples. There are mysteries. And as a Catholic, I enjoy them. The mysteries, that is.
- Sophia Burset: Well, I enjoy the nipples.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: So there I am, topless, sittin' on this bulldozer, like, in a construction site. So I'm sittin' there, barbecue sauce on my titties, and I'm like, "What the fuck? Again?"