Doug Walker: [Doug sits opposite the Critic and stares him down] Some ground rules.
Nostalgia Critic: Fair enough.
Doug Walker: Reviews every two weeks.
Nostalgia Critic: Two weeks?
Doug Walker: Maybe every other week I can do a mini-review or a film editorial but if we still want these jokes to still be fresh and funny, I need more time on them and that's gonna be two weeks.
Nostalgia Critic: So be it. Rule two, no more cutoff dates.
Doug Walker: What?
Nostalgia Critic: I want to review whatever I want whenever I want.
Doug Walker: But you're the Nostalgia Critic. It's in your name.
Nostalgia Critic: I won't review anything currently in theaters. And besides, if you're seeing something after it came out in the cinema doesn't that technically make it nostalgic?
Doug Walker: Well, I guess horrible films aren't restricted to just one time period.
Nostalgia Critic: Very true.
Doug Walker: One last condition.
Nostalgia Critic: Yeeessss?
Doug Walker: [picks up the Timothy Green DVD] This has to be the first review.
Nostalgia Critic: Why?
Doug Walker: This is the movie that brought you back. That made me realize I could actually do this again. I feel like I owe it.
Nostalgia Critic: But nobody saw it! I don't even know how many people remember it.
Doug Walker: Maybe it's to show that even something that's regarded as terrible or forgettable can still inspire something creative.
Nostalgia Critic: Done.