- Eric: I'm looking for Ronald Ulysses Swanson.
- Ron Swanson: He stepped out. Can I take a message?
- Eric: Sure. Tell him he just won a free dinner from St. Elmo's Steakhouse.
- Ron Swanson: [Giggles uncontrollably] I'm Ron Swanson!
- Eric: You've been served. Have a nice day.
- Ron Swanson: ...I don't like you, but I respect the effort.
- Ron Swanson: I'm actually not sure how much money I have, but I do know how many pounds of money I have.