- Zara Khan: [the head of the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro gets knocked off, rolls down a hill, and lands unceremoniously lopsided on a beach] Jesus!
- Cheryl Tunt: Well, it's not like it's the worst thing that ever happened to Him.
- Cyril Figgis: [cleaning out an elevator shaft] So ballpark, how many bodies do you think we pushed down here?
- Doctor Krieger: Uh... I did two or three.
- Cheryl Tunt: Two or three bodies... not so bad.
- Doctor Krieger: [laughing] Oh, no! Two or three ballparks.
- Cheryl Tunt: [staring at mostly empty shelves] Is it me or did the gun library used to have more guns?
- Cyril Figgis: It's called an armory.
- Cheryl Tunt: Uh, fine! Didn't the gun library used to have more armory?
- Doctor Krieger: Okay, here's my pitch: We use your money... to fund my research... to colonize the moon... with werewolves! Think about it. The moon is always full there.
- Cheryl Tunt: Ooooo. I'm likin' it.
- Slater: I thought it was appropriate that your last mission before vanishing into the dustbin of history would be polishing my glorious balls.
- Lana Kane: Slater, you are gonna give me that detonator, or I'm gonna pull your trachea out through your dickhole!
- Sterling Archer: Look, I feel for you guys. Not everyone has a skill set like me. You know, able to thrive solo in literally *any* situation.
- Lana Kane: And thank you for that compelling summary of your dickfaceitude.