- Spock: I appreciate your assistance, Nurse Chapel.
- Nurse Chapel: Christine. It's Christine.
- Spock: Thank you, I believe, is the appropriate term, *Christine*.
- Nurse Chapel: I don't know your first name.
- Spock: You could not pronounce it.
- Nurse Chapel: Tell me.
- [Spock whispers into her ear]
- Nurse Chapel: Clark? Clark Spock?
- Young Kirk: I'm gonna have to talk to Spock about this. Must be that *red* matter.
- Captain Kirk: Red matter. What exactly is red matter?
- Young Kirk: I dunno, but it's... bad.
- [last lines]
- Spock: [giving Vulcan salute] Welcome aboard, Captain.
- Captain Kirk: Thank you, Mr. Spock.
- [first lines]
- Ensign O'Herlihy:: Hey Rizzo, when did you transfer into Science from Security?
- Rizzo:: I didn't. I just started takin' blue uniforms from the laundry.
- Ensign O'Herlihy:: Why?
- Rizzo:: Trust me kid, redshirts will get you killed every time.
- Dr. McCoy: [checks medical tricorder] No doubt about it, Jim, he's you.
- [observes Young Kirk sneaking a peek up Nurse Chapel's skirt as she bends over to pick up a dropped instrument case]
- Dr. McCoy: Well, you as an adult.
- Young Kirk: I *am* an adult.
- Captain Kirk: The jury's still out.
- Young Kirk: I don't understand how this happened.
- Dr. McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!
- Captain Kirk: ...mechanic?
- Young Kirk: Yours does this, too?
- Captain Kirk: All the time.
- Young Kirk: You ready to go home?
- Captain Kirk: The ship is brand new. Your laws of physics make no sense. You got a crew of sexy twentysomethings... fuck like rabbits. Who wouldn't want to leave?
- Young Kirk: Good. Glad to hear it.
- Ambassador Robert April: When an officer of the line leaves your ship, it is customary to show them the way to the transporter pad by going first.
- Young Kirk: I knew that! Captain Kirk, may I invite you onto my transporter so I can get you the hell offa my ship, and back to where you came from?
- Captain Kirk: I don't think so.
- [signals Scotty to activate the transporter]
- Young Kirk: Dude, no fuckin' way. This sucks!
- [dematerializes]
- Young Kirk: [coming to the rescue after Uhura has already disabled Evil Kirk] It's okay, you're safe.
- Uhura: God, you're an idiot.
- Young Kirk: Yeah, but a charming idiot.
- [embraces Uhura]
- Uhura: The things that you have to do to get promoted around here.
- Captain Kirk: Lieutenant Uhura, raise the bridge for me.
- Uhura: My pleasure sir.
- Sulu: [voice over intercom] Helm.
- Captain Kirk: Mr. Sulu, set course for Cygnet 14.
- Sulu: [voice over intercom] Aye-Aye, Captain. Warp one.
- Captain Kirk: Mr. Sulu, you're such a pussy. Warp factor *six*.
- Sulu: [voice over intercom] Oh my!