- Jen Barber: Autistic! She said, "Autistic." That's what happened.
- Roy Trenneman: No, I don't... I don't think so.
- Jen Barber: There's no "artistic spectrum".
- Roy Trenneman: And now Anonymous are after us. Well that's just ideal.
- Jen Barber: Oh, bunch of nerds sitting at their computer. What can they do?
- Roy Trenneman: We pissed off the internet, Jen! The internet is coming to get us!
- Jen Barber: Well let's get it before it gets us.
- Roy Trenneman: I don't want Anonymous after me, I'm in Anonymous. I think...
- Maurice Moss: Oh, Jen, exciting news. I've just uploaded the second episode of my board games review show. Care to have a look?
- Jen Barber: That was fast... Seems like only yesterday we had to sit through the last one.
- Maurice Moss: It was three months ago, Jen.
- Jen Barber: Really? It feels like... it feels like it just happened. Roy, did you hear that? Moss has done his board game review show again.
- Roy Trenneman: I'm not watching that. I'm not watching that again. Jesus Christ! We don't have to watch it, do we? We only sat through the first one the other day.
- Jen Barber: It was three months ago.
- Roy Trenneman: My God! Wow. It feels like it just ended. It was so boring. It was like being insane. It was so insanely boring.
- Roy Trenneman: Hey, I'll have you know that Alice is nuts about me. She thinks that I'm emotionally artistic.
- Jen Barber: Well, what does that mean?
- Roy Trenneman: Um, well, she said that emotionally, I was on the artistic spectrum. I think it means that I'm creative about my feelings, you know?
- Roy Trenneman: No, it didn't go well, Jen. It didn't go well at all. I mean, thanks for asking, but no, it's wasn't a success. This wasn't a successful funeral for me.
- Jen Barber: Didn't have the required gravitas?
- Roy Trenneman: Gravitas? No no. Wasn't very dignified. It wasn't dignified at all, Jen! If I had to pick a word to describe Pip Pop's final journey to the grave, it would be "funny."
- Roy Trenneman: You record our emails and tape our phone calls?
- Douglas Reynholm: All right, dry your eyes, Bono.
- Roy Trenneman: Moss, have you seen this video of the baby speaking French?
- Maurice Moss: It went viral at 10.30, Roy. Of course I've seen it.
- Roy Trenneman: I must have been in the toilet.
- Douglas Reynholm: I wasn't always this way. There was a time when I was just like you. But then I discovered the secret. And, Ross, I'm going to tell you what that secret is. But you must keep it to yourself.
- Maurice Moss: I will take my ears to the grave.
- Douglas Reynholm: Two words. Women's slacks
- Maurice Moss: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.
- Douglas Reynholm: [laughing] Book recommendation? I can't read. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but women's slacks give me the confidence I need to survive in a tough business world. They're lighter, airier and less constrictive than men's trousers. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't make me a transvestite.