- Ichabod Crane: [about Franklin] The man was insufferable!
- Lt. Abbie Mills: We are talking about Benjamin Franklin? The editor of the Declaration of Independence.
- Ichabod Crane: Blowhard, braggart, blatherskite. And gasbag. He had an insatiable need to prove he was the sharpest intellect in the room.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: I could see how that could be hard for you.
- Ichabod Crane: [eyeing the candles on the cupcake] Why must your era celebrate terror with dessert?
- Lt. Abbie Mills: I'm sorry, I couldn't find a cupcake big enough for two hundred and fifty-one candles. Happy birthday.
- Ichabod Crane: Well, then, I shall consider myself 'punk'd'.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [holing up the cupcake with the candles] Make a wish.
- Ichabod Crane: oh, a wish?
- Lt. Abbie Mills: Another modern tradition.
- Ichabod Crane: And here I thought science had won over superstition in modern America. Very well. A wish. I wish...
- Ichabod Crane: Not out loud.
- Ichabod Crane: Is there no end to this birthday madness?
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [reading through the archives] First Among Founders: Benjamin Franklin's Impact on Colonial America.
- Ichabod Crane: [scoffing] Impact? On the scores of strumpets he crushed beneath his girth, perhaps.
- Benjamin Franklin: You still haven't learned my alphabet, have you?
- Ichabod Crane: [sheepishly] There are only so many hours in the day.
- Benjamin Franklin: Rise earlier. The key to success lies under the alarm clock.
- Jenny Mills: This is the only statue of Franklin in Sleepy Hollow.
- Ichabod Crane: Wait. There are more?
- Jenny Mills: All over the country. Plus the Franklin Mint, the $100 bill. It's all about the Benjamins.
- Ichabod Crane: Yes, it always was.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [about the up coming battle] This is what we've training for. You ready?
- Ichabod Crane: I've been ready for 200 years.