(2010)

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4/10
One of the worst movies I've ever seen and I made it.
tylermorris-9956722 January 2022
Yep. I wrote, directed, edited, produced, production designed, sound designed, pretty much every above the line department I worked on this movie.

I made this movie as part of a study project on filmmaking when I was in middle school, and as a fanatic of horror movies, I wanted to make my own surrealist fantasy horror film. I had BIG ideas, and BIG concepts, and absolutely none of it was in my wheelhouse as a filmmaker. I'd shot all of this awful footage of seventh graders stabbings each other no-budget ketchup style (yes, it's ALL ketchup), got in a whole bunch of trouble for showing kids killing kids, and attempted several times to cut it all into a watchable feature length film. It was a disaster. I feel bad for how I talked to the "actors" back then (none of which were genuine actors and were just people I knew). I wish I was more patient and left the pretension at the door.

BUT, you live and you learn. I've progressed as a producer of video since my 12 year old self producing this crap-fest. I put the whole thing on my YouTube for free, and I eventually recut the whole thing into a short experimental film that I much happier with. I suggest you watch my Petals: Redux and casually click through this bore-fest to see how naive it is. It is, simply put, incomprehensible. Too much happening, too big for my abilities at the time, and too much plot for what was even tangibly filmed. It is BAD. BAD. BAD.

I give it four out of ten because given the conditions of which it was made and what I've learned, I have an odd soft spot for the EXPERIENCE of making and showing the film, but I do NOT think it is by any means a good movie. I hope that some aspiring filmmakers can see it and think, "wow, I can do better than THAT," because I promise you, yes, yes you absolutely can. And you should totally make your own Petals. Your competition is one of the worst movies ever made.

I'm also a little drunk. Sorry about the typos.
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