- Winston Sam Bass: Good afternoon! You know how when you see bugs are always running? You ever wanted to ask them: "Where the heck do you gotta be?" Tonight we do! This guy is bookin'. Sir, can I ask: What's the rush? He's not talking. Sir, can I talk to you a minute? Where are you headed? What's the rush? Where is the fire? He's not talking.
- [bug falls off the rail it walks on]
- Winston Sam Bass: Oh! He just jumped. I didn't touch him, you saw it, he just jumped.
- Winston Sam Bass: [voice over] It seemed like my day was gonna be longer than I anticipated.
- Winston Sam Bass: Sir, do you see these cameras? You're on TV! This guy is *beep* cold.
- [gets up in horror when the bug comes against him]
- Winston Sam Bass: [voice over] I was having no dumb luck with these gringos. So I went up north to Spanish Harlem to see if I couldn't shake some trees.
- Winston Sam Bass: Señor? Señor? Un proguto, por favor. Where are you going, sir? Señor? Un poco momento. Thank you. This guy despises me. Cut it. And now for a special report, we're gonna send it over to my little brother Lance!
- Lance Sam Bass: Hey, I'm Lance Sam Bass! Love you so much, bro. Today, we're gonna be talkin' to some bugs. Excuse me, ma'am, can you tell me where you're going, please?
- Lance Sam Bass: [as bug, using an exaggerated voice] I'm going to the supermarket!