Louise Lasser: Mary Hartman

Quotes 

• Mary Hartman : [Discussing Muriel]  I find myself very suspicious of that woman.

  Loretta Haggers : [shocked]  Why?

  Mary Hartman : Not quite sure. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's true she's deceitful. She's sneaky. She's insincere. She's a lying troublemaker. But somehow, I just can't put my finger on it, y'know?

• Mary Hartman : What did Charlie tell you about that scar?

  Loretta Haggers : Well, he said he was in the diner. He had this big pot of grease, see? This robber comes in and says, stick 'em up!

  Mary Hartman : Carol Burnett Show! Tim Conway, robber. Harvey Korman, Charlie.

  Loretta Haggers : I know it. I seen it too, Mary. I said that to Charlie. He said, no, this is real. Isn't it funny how life imitates the Carol Burnett Show? Except the only thing different is Charlie never did become a big Ziegfeld Follies star.