Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Our Cup Runneth Over (2015)

Eugene Levy: Johnny Rose

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marisa : [hearing the doorbell ring and opening the door]  Immigration?

  Reposession Guy with Chair : Revenue.

  Marisa : Mrs. Rose! There are people here from the government.

  Moira Rose : [shrieking]  I've been gutted. John, I've been stripped of every morsel of pleasure I earned in this life.

  Johnny Rose : Well, how do you think I feel, Moira? Eli was family, for god sake! "Leave your finances to me," he said! Son of a bitch.

  Alexis Rose : Baby, it's crazy, people are just, like, taking our stuff!

  [shouting into her phone] 

  Alexis Rose : I said they're taking our stuff! Can you just step out of the club for a second, please?

  [notices a CAS agent taking off with her purses] 

  Alexis Rose : Hold on, hold on. Those bags are not for you. My boyfriend bought those for me, so theoretically, they are his.

  Reposession Guy with Chair : Please, sir, can you step aside?

  David Rose : No, you step aside! YOU STEP ASIDE! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what kind of a sick person wants to get paid to destroy another person's life. DESTROY ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE! Where are you taking that?

  Moira Rose : My very soul has been kidnapped, there's no ransom. NO ONE'S COMING TO SAVE ME!

  Johnny Rose : We've got 15 minutes to collect our personals. Can we pick up the pace?

• Moira Rose : The world is falling apart around us John, and I'm dying inside.

  Johnny Rose : Well, I'm feeling a little queasy myself.

• Alexis Rose : NNNOOOO! Stavros just texted me. And he ended it, he's not coming. He said that he doesn't have time to come and get me because he already RSVPed to... to Diddy's white party and he doesn't have time to do both. But I was supposed to be his date to the white party.

  Johnny Rose : Alexis, he was never my favorite, Stavros. I've hated that guy ever since he asked me to do lines with him at my 60th.

  David Rose : Just out of sheer curiosity, um, where do you stand now on whether or not you think this motel is cute? Like, is it still cute, or is it...

  Alexis Rose : You're a DICK, David!

  David Rose : Oh, I'm a dick? Okay, did I dump you for a party?

• Johnny Rose : Roland, listen, thank you very much, but, uh, I appreciate everything you've done. We need, uh, a little private time now as a family.

  Roland Schitt : Sure. Well, actually, those curtains do close there, so... oh, look, you've got Channel 19.

  Johnny Rose : [snapping]  ROLAND, COULD YOU GET THE FUCK OUT?

  [calming down] 

  Johnny Rose : That was an overreaction. That was uncalled for. It's just, you know, we're a little tired, it's been a long day. There's a pharmacy worth of drugs wearing off on most of us right now, and I just think as a family, we need a little time to chill.

• Johnny Rose : Alexis, what the hell is the matter with you?

  Alexis Rose : Okay... Stavros is flying in to get me and I am going to go live with him for a little bit.

  Moira Rose : Well, that is not happening. And I am appalled that my baby girl has turned into a selfish, duplicitous, whore.

  [Turning to Twyla] 

  Moira Rose : Oh, hello!

  Twyla Sands : Hi, I'm Twyla, I'll be your waitress today. Anyway, I read about you guys, and everything you've gone through, it sounds super crappy.

  Johnny Rose : Super crappy?

  Twyla Sands : I had a second cousin in Elmdale who did telemarketing, he made a ton of money. It turns out his entire business was illegal, and he lost everything.

  Johnny Rose : Hmm... not quite the same.

• Johnny Rose : The name is Rose.

  Stevie Budd : I don't see a reservation under that name.

  Roland Schitt : Uh, it's okay, Stevie. I set aside two rooms for them.

  Stevie Budd : Well, there's nothing here.

  Roland Schitt : Well, okay, just book 'em in with two rooms. These people own the town, they're big deals.

  Moira Rose : We'll need three rooms, minimum.

  Roland Schitt : Ooh, no can do, honey. Look, we have a one-room comp policy here, and I am personally throwing in an extra room out of sheer decency, so...

  Johnny Rose : What about suites? Do you have a couple of suites?

  Roland Schitt : [amused]  This guy.

  Stevie Budd : Um... no. Uh, this is a motel, so we cater more to off-road truckers and drunk teenagers.

  Moira Rose : Please, someone just give me a key, to a door, to a room, any room. I just want a bathtub and a long extension cord, please.

• Johnny Rose : Kids, we just came in to say good night, and, uh, to remind you that we will get through this...

  David Rose : Okay, good night.

  Johnny Rose : ...as a family.

  David Rose : Warmest regards to you both.

  Johnny Rose : And that we will end up on our feet in no time.

  Moira Rose : Of course, by then, our feet will be shoeless, and filthy and mangled from walking on cigarette butts and broken beer bottles. So, seriously, Alexis, enough about Stavros.

  Alexis Rose : I'm sorry if I am going through something right now.

• Johnny Rose : He's our business manager. He's supposed to pay taxes.

• Roland Schitt : [showing the Roses to their rooms]  There you go, ma'am.

  Johnny Rose : It smells like a gym bag.

  Moira Rose : Does anyone else feel light-headed?

  Roland Schitt : Oh, my god, this takes me back to high school. You know, I did the deed in just about every room in this place. Yep, if a forensic team came in here with one of those blue lights, this place would just light up.

• Johnny Rose : Yeah, I've got a problem.

  Stevie Budd : If this is about doors...

  Johnny Rose : Yeah, it's about doors. Yeah, my doors are gone. My front door, somebody stole my doors.

  Stevie Budd : Yeah, you're gonna have to talk to Roland about that. He lives just down the street, you make a left out of the motel, and then another left. It's a house with a truck in the driveway. There's a bumper sticker of a naked Helen Mirren.

• Johnny Rose : I want my doors back.

  Roland Schitt : Oh.

  Johnny Rose : Before it gets dark. My son is afraid of moths.

  Roland Schitt : Oh, hmm. Well, here's the thing about that, Johnny. You see, you did a bad thing. You disrespected me in front of your family. And now they think less of me.

  Johnny Rose : I doubt that's possible. And to be honest, you were kinda breathing down our necks a little bit back at the motel.

  Roland Schitt : Johnny, when I was a kid and I did a bad thing, my father took the doors off my room. And he said to me, "Roland, privacy is earned."

  Johnny Rose : I am having a tough time following that. What the hell does that have to do with privacy?

  Roland Schitt : Nothing. I just got mad and I took your doors.

• Johnny Rose : What the hell happened here?

  Moira Rose : We've been robbed. Right now, some local is pawning my earrings for crank.

  Johnny Rose : Your diamonds?

  Moira Rose : Yes, my diamonds, the one thing I could hide under my tongue.

  Johnny Rose : Moira, I took your earrings out of here, and I put them in my shoe. For safekeeping.

• Moira Rose : These rooms did have doors, didn't they?

  Johnny Rose : Yeah, it's a hotel. They're hotel rooms.

  David Rose : It's a motel. These are motel rooms.

  Alexis Rose : What if they took our stuff?

  David Rose : What stuff? There's no stuff to take.

  Moira Rose : I have stuff.

  Johnny Rose : [giving the door jamb a once-over]  Son of a bitch!

• Johnny Rose : David, help me with the doors.

  David Rose : No, I can't. I just got out of the shower.

  Johnny Rose : I need help with the doors.

  Alexis Rose : David, help him with the doors.

  David Rose : You help him with the doors.

  Alexis Rose : No.

  Johnny Rose : David, could you help me with the doors?

  David Rose : It's air drying.

  Moira Rose : Pick up a hammer and nail this coffin shut.

• Lawyer : There is something that the government has allowed you to keep.

  Moira Rose : The kids?

  Lawyer : The kids are dependents, Moira. Johnny you bought a town in 1991?

  Johnny Rose : Yes, I bought that town as a joke for my son

  David Rose : Wait? You actually bought that town?

  Johnny Rose : Yes, I bought that town. How else could I get the deed?

  Alexis Rose : You could have just photoshopped the deed!

  Johnny Rose : Why would I photoshop the deed? The joke was owning the town?

  Moira Rose : Oh stop it John!

  Johnny Rose : That was the joke!

  David Rose : Oh my god!