Schitt's Creek (TV Series)

Our Cup Runneth Over (2015)

Dan Levy: David Rose

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marisa : [hearing the doorbell ring and opening the door]  Immigration?

  Reposession Guy with Chair : Revenue.

  Marisa : Mrs. Rose! There are people here from the government.

  Moira Rose : [shrieking]  I've been gutted. John, I've been stripped of every morsel of pleasure I earned in this life.

  Johnny Rose : Well, how do you think I feel, Moira? Eli was family, for god sake! "Leave your finances to me," he said! Son of a bitch.

  Alexis Rose : Baby, it's crazy, people are just, like, taking our stuff!

  [shouting into her phone] 

  Alexis Rose : I said they're taking our stuff! Can you just step out of the club for a second, please?

  [notices a CAS agent taking off with her purses] 

  Alexis Rose : Hold on, hold on. Those bags are not for you. My boyfriend bought those for me, so theoretically, they are his.

  Reposession Guy with Chair : Please, sir, can you step aside?

  David Rose : No, you step aside! YOU STEP ASIDE! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what kind of a sick person wants to get paid to destroy another person's life. DESTROY ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE! Where are you taking that?

  Moira Rose : My very soul has been kidnapped, there's no ransom. NO ONE'S COMING TO SAVE ME!

  Johnny Rose : We've got 15 minutes to collect our personals. Can we pick up the pace?

• Alexis Rose : At present, he's just coming for me, but then I figured that we would just come and grab you guys at some point.

  David Rose : What kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit-soaked dump to galavant around the world with her dumb, shipping-heir loser boyfriend she's known for 3 months?

  Alexis Rose : Um, David, it will be 4 months next month.

  David Rose : Oh my god!

  Alexis Rose : And he just told me that he could potentially see himself considering saying "I love you" at some point sometime soon, so...

  David Rose : That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm telling mom. I'm telling mom and dad! Have you told them?

  Alexis Rose : No, David, I'm waiting for the right opportunity. Okay? Otherwise, dad's gonna cry and mom's gonna do that thing where she... where she pretends that nothing's wrong and then just doesn't talk to me for five months, and I don't want that.

• Alexis Rose : NNNOOOO! Stavros just texted me. And he ended it, he's not coming. He said that he doesn't have time to come and get me because he already RSVPed to... to Diddy's white party and he doesn't have time to do both. But I was supposed to be his date to the white party.

  Johnny Rose : Alexis, he was never my favorite, Stavros. I've hated that guy ever since he asked me to do lines with him at my 60th.

  David Rose : Just out of sheer curiosity, um, where do you stand now on whether or not you think this motel is cute? Like, is it still cute, or is it...

  Alexis Rose : You're a DICK, David!

  David Rose : Oh, I'm a dick? Okay, did I dump you for a party?

• Johnny Rose : Kids, we just came in to say good night, and, uh, to remind you that we will get through this...

  David Rose : Okay, good night.

  Johnny Rose : ...as a family.

  David Rose : Warmest regards to you both.

  Johnny Rose : And that we will end up on our feet in no time.

  Moira Rose : Of course, by then, our feet will be shoeless, and filthy and mangled from walking on cigarette butts and broken beer bottles. So, seriously, Alexis, enough about Stavros.

  Alexis Rose : I'm sorry if I am going through something right now.

• David Rose : [moving Alexis' suitcase]  Well, I need this bed. I need it, so.

  Alexis Rose : [moving it back and forth as they argue]  You know what, David? You get murdered first for once.

  David Rose : No, you get murdered first.

  Alexis Rose : David, you get murdered first.

  David Rose : No, you. You do it.

  Alexis Rose : Yes, you get murdered first.

  [in their room, Johnny and Moira hear them through the wall] 

  Alexis Rose : David, you get murdered first.

• David Rose : I am sorry if my mom accused you of taking something.

  Stevie Budd : It's fine.

  David Rose : Okay, but does this mean that when you're cleaning our rooms, you're gonna put weird stuff in our beds, out of spite, or something?

  Stevie Budd : I won't be cleaning your room.

  David Rose : Okay, can I ask you a question?

  Stevie Budd : Shoot.

  David Rose : I think you're kind of rude.

  Stevie Budd : Is that a question?

  David Rose : I have asked you thrice now for a towel, so that I may wash this town off my body. Do you think I wanna be here?

  Stevie Budd : Do you think I wanna be here?

  David Rose : I don't know what you want, you've given me one-word answers since I got here.

  Stevie Budd : So if I get you a towel, you'll stop following me to my car?

  David Rose : Yes! Yes.

  Stevie Budd : Fine. But I'm only doing this because you called me rude, and I take that as a compliment.

• Moira Rose : These rooms did have doors, didn't they?

  Johnny Rose : Yeah, it's a hotel. They're hotel rooms.

  David Rose : It's a motel. These are motel rooms.

  Alexis Rose : What if they took our stuff?

  David Rose : What stuff? There's no stuff to take.

  Moira Rose : I have stuff.

  Johnny Rose : [giving the door jamb a once-over]  Son of a bitch!

• Johnny Rose : David, help me with the doors.

  David Rose : No, I can't. I just got out of the shower.

  Johnny Rose : I need help with the doors.

  Alexis Rose : David, help him with the doors.

  David Rose : You help him with the doors.

  Alexis Rose : No.

  Johnny Rose : David, could you help me with the doors?

  David Rose : It's air drying.

  Moira Rose : Pick up a hammer and nail this coffin shut.

• David Rose : I need that bed.

  Alexis Rose : Why?

  David Rose : Because I need it.

  Alexis Rose : Why?

  David Rose : Because if someone were to break in here in the middle of the night wanting to murder us, they would attack this bed first, so I need this bed.

  Alexis Rose : So you're saying that you want me to get murdered first? In front of you? And then what would you do? Would you just run away and leave me to bleed out, on the floor?

  David Rose : Uh, sort of, that was the plan, yeah.

• Alexis Rose : As if I didn't see this coming. He's broken up with me five times already. Like, there was that time that he never met me in Rio. And remember that time that he gave me his ex-wife's engagement ring? And then, last summer, that time that he left his molly in my glove compartment, and then I got arrested?

  David Rose : Can you do me a huge favor? And never repeat this to anyone that you respect, okay?

• Lawyer : There is something that the government has allowed you to keep.

  Moira Rose : The kids?

  Lawyer : The kids are dependents, Moira. Johnny you bought a town in 1991?

  Johnny Rose : Yes, I bought that town as a joke for my son

  David Rose : Wait? You actually bought that town?

  Johnny Rose : Yes, I bought that town. How else could I get the deed?

  Alexis Rose : You could have just photoshopped the deed!

  Johnny Rose : Why would I photoshop the deed? The joke was owning the town?

  Moira Rose : Oh stop it John!

  Johnny Rose : That was the joke!

  David Rose : Oh my god!