- Bree: [Bree enters the Funeral home with her baby crying. Her phone rings and she shouts into the phone] Sean? Where are you? YOU'RE AT A BAR? If anybody needs to be at a bar IT'S ME!
- David Rose: [Hears the sound of a baby screaming and two people arguing. David peers out the window] Uh-oh!
- Alexis Rose: What?
- David Rose: Some townie douchebag is moving in next door.
- [Hears the sound of glass breaking]
- David Rose: LOOK OUT!
- David Rose: [Sees Alexis packing her bags] Where are you going?
- Alexis Rose: I'm going to stay at Ted's house.
- David Rose: So, you're just going to leave me here?
- Alexis Rose: Yes, I've been through enough spring breaks to know how this is going to end? And it's not going to end well.
- David Rose: Hello? HELLO? Is anybody there in that hollow heart of yours?
- Johnny Rose: The man was crying! What was I supposed to say?
- Moira Rose: You take both of his hands, look him straight in the eye, and you say NO!
- Johnny Rose: What do you say about a guy you couldn't care less about?
- Moira Rose: I once had to deliver a eulogy at the funeral of my Sunrise Bay co-star. I didn't know what to say so I sang a few lines of Danny Boy.
- Johnny Rose: Bob, in case I want to mention this in my remarks, how - how did Carl go?
- Bob Currie: Well, it was a bit of a freak accident, really. Apparently, he was trying to unhook his belt from the ceiling fan and apparently it It got knotted around his neck. You'd think the whole thing would have come down?
- Johnny Rose: [Tapping Bob on the shoulder] Just in case I have to bring it up Bob how did Carl go?
- Bob Currie: The cord on ceiling fan he was installing got knotted around his neck and he was left spinning around on the ceiling.
- Johnny Rose: Oh!
- Bob Currie: You'd think that the whole thing would have come down?
- David Rose: Are you sure you should be cleaning that up? I don't know what that is?
- Stevie Budd: I wouldn't be cleaning that up if I didn't know what it was?
- David Rose: You were a bit of a mess last night.
- Stevie Budd: [Short pause] Did I try to make out with you?
- David Rose: No.
- [Picks up a thong with a broom handle]
- David Rose: Is this your thong?
- Stevie Budd: No! Bree is a really classy lady. I found that wrapped around the remote control. Don't worry I threw the remote control out.
- David Rose: [David finds a stash of marijuana inside a pillow case] Uh-oh! It looks like someone has a side hustle? Marijuana!
- Stevie Budd: If you're asking me if I want to smoke it my answer is yes!
- [David shakes the baggie]
- David Rose: [Stoned] Want to know where I got my hat bruh?
- Stevie Budd: Where?
- David Rose: Assholes-R-Us!
- [laughing as Stevie rolls over, falls off of the bed and hits David in the back of his head with her leg]
- Bree, Sean: [shouting at each other with their baby crying]
- David Rose: Oh my god! OH MY GOD! We need to go! We need to go!
- [David and Stevie duck into a room next to Bree and Sean's room!]
- Sean: [angrily] What the ##ck?
- David Rose: [Whispering] I got his hat!
- [laughing]
- David Rose: [Short pause! David slams Stevie up against the door and they start kissing each other. They then move towards the wall that has the light switch attached to a disco ball. David puts his arms out and drops his empty beer bottles on the floor while Stevie starts to rub her hands up and down David's waist and hips]
- David Rose: Some very scummy people moved in next door!
- Stevie Budd: Are they very skaggy?
- David Rose: Very skaggy!
- Stevie Budd: Imagine being related to them?
- David Rose: Wait? You're related to Carl?
- Stevie Budd: Not related by blood but my mom's sister married Carl which makes Sean my step-cousin.
- David Rose: Wow! And Sean got Bree pregnant?
- Stevie Budd: Someone got Bree pregnant. I mean Bree isn't exactly fussy about introducing men to her vagina.
- Twyla Sands: Hey, Bob, how are you holding up?
- Bob Currie: Oh, you know... not bad.
- Twyla Sands: You know, they say death is just life except you're not here. You're somewhere else, you know? But - but that's okay because at least you're somewhere, you know? But when does - when does somewhere become there? And when does there become here? And I - it...
- Bob Currie: Just.. just a coffee, please.
- Alexis Rose: [reading the title of Ted's gift to her] "Opening Your Heart to Animals :a Guide to the Benefits of Caring for Something Other Than Yourself". That's a... very specific book.
- David Rose: There are some very skaggy people who happened to produce a baby that hasn't been taken away from them yet. They are very scummy people
- Stevie Budd: Yeah, imagine being related to them. They're my half cousins.
- David Rose: Wait you're related to Carl?
- Stevie Budd: Not genetically, my mother's sister was married to Carl. He died before Sean got Bree Pregnant or somebody got Bree pregnant. I mean, she's not exactly fussy when it comes to introducing men to her vagina.
- David Rose: And was that a factor in his death?
- Stevie Budd: I wouldn't be surprised!