- Roland Schitt: I'm here to personally invite the two of you to, uhm, a, uh, annual, uhm, elegant, dress-up event that Jocelyn is hosting, uhm, well, no I'm not inviting you, but I'm saying we're... we'll see each other there, at the very big event that Jocelyn is hosting-the whole town will go to this event, they'll all be dressed up, and, uhm, did I, did I say that it's a fundraiser? Oh, sorry Johnny, let me start over here...
- Johnny Rose: Talk to the hand, David, because the ears are no longer working
- Alexis Rose: That's... not how it works...
- Alexis Rose: You look- really amazing!
- Mutt Schitt: Well, I didn't want to be the only guy not wearing a suit.
- Alexis Rose: So, did you have to kill a man to get it...
- Mutt Schitt: I did! It took me a couple to find one my size.
- Moira Rose: Jocelyn, I'm so glad I've run into you. Roland was mentioning your fundraiser earlier today and it got me thinking...
- Jocelyn Schitt: My... what?
- Moira Rose: Your annual fundraiser for the children with troubled mouths.
- Jocelyn Schitt: Oh, right. Yes. It's gonna be quite a night.
- David Rose: Okay, I'm gonna ask you to put some pieces together here for me. We are throwing a "fundraiser" that just so happens to be on the same night as your birthday.
- Moira Rose: Must you rub it in?
- David Rose: We're throwing a "fundraiser" on your birthday.
- Moira Rose: Well, now you're just being cruel!
- David Rose: The fundraiser isn't real. It's not a real thing.
- Moira Rose: Oh... you're planning a birthday thing...
- Moira Rose: Wait, wait, wait. One last check.
- [to Alexis]
- Moira Rose: Gorgeous.
- [to Johnny]
- Moira Rose: Perfection.
- [to David]
- Moira Rose: Like your father the day I married him. Look at us, the Roses, attending this town's most illustrious fundraising gala.