- Leslie: It's like everything associated with the word Detroit has to suck. It's embarrassing. It's a joke of a team for a joke of a city.
- Shelly: I will not sit here while you talk about Detroit that way! She is a beautiful lady, with an ample bosom, and I love her! I was born here, and I plan to die here. Good day ma'am.
- Justin: Danny, I wish you would've let me know that you needed a massage cause I would never let a friend be in pain without helping?
- Nicki: You guys massage each other?
- Justin: Oh yeah, but when Danny works on my back it feels more like a deep rhythmic stabbing motion... and at the end of that story there's never a happy ending.