- Conan O'Brien: [during "Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell"] Okay, this one's called "Porn Actors in New Careers". That's right, there's a porn actor in a new career right there...
- [shows the cover, which has a picture of a fast food worker holding a mayo bottle near his crotch to look like he's ejaculating; mixed audience response. Conan doesn't show any more and drops the book]
- Conan O'Brien: This is nice. I like it when I have a dialogue...
- Andy Richter: Right, exactly.
- Conan O'Brien: ...When they let me know...
- Andy Richter: Yes.
- Conan O'Brien: ...When we've missed the mark.
- Andy Richter: You create a problem, and then you solve it.
- Conan O'Brien: [during "Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell"] Now, a couple weeks ago everyone was talking about the cat that saved a boy from an attacking dog.
- Andy Richter: Yeah.
- Conan O'Brien: That was a huge story. Well, check out this book...
- Andy Richter: [chuckles] They already made a book?
- Conan O'Brien: They already made a book...
- [pushes desk mic down]
- Conan O'Brien: They already made a book, and it ALREADY didn't sell!
- Andy Richter: Oh, wow!
- Conan O'Brien: Yes!
- Andy Richter: Such a fast world we live in!
- Conan O'Brien: THAT'S HOW FAST THINGS MOVE!
- Andy Richter: Wow!
- Conan O'Brien: Incredible!... You, you bastard.
- [Andy pops his head into frame and smiles]