- Billy Soto: Where can we find this guy?
- Meredith Bose: Last social services report had him camped under a scaffolding in midtown
- Laura Diamond: So you did all the background checks? State, FBI, Homeland Security?
- Max Carnegie: She is as clean as a baby's bottom.
- Laura Diamond: Soft as a baby's bottom! Clean? Uh, Uh! Trust me
- Max Carnegie: Copy that! After a two hour interviewing and three government agencies, you can trust this babysitter. Okay! She checks out
- Laura Diamond: I trust her! She is with them right now, isn't she?
- Max Carnegie: Yeah
- Laura Diamond: Trust is a multi-faceted concept for a mother! So swing by, be discreet... ish
- Max Carnegie: Okay
- Billy Soto: What's that about?
- Laura Diamond: Covert mission!
- Laura Diamond: Meredith, pull up the 911-calls from last Thursday at 11.17 PM
- Meredith Bose: You should really learn how to run a computer, there are becoming customary in the workplace!
- Laura Diamond: [after getting into a too small pair of pants] Once a six, always a six!
- Nicholas Broderick: Wow mom. You look sexy!
- Laura Diamond: No, I do not! Did your father teach you that word?
- [Twins looks down]
- Laura Diamond: Apology accepted! Speaking of your father and his wonderful influence: you are each paying for half of Ned's window!
- Harrison Broderick: Can't you pay half, mommy?
- Laura Diamond: [Shakes no] You can't have three halves!