- Sherlock Holmes: Taking your own life. Interesting expression. Taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.
- Dr. John Watson: You didn't kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. It's her choice. No one made her do it. No one could ever make her do anything, but the point is, you did not kill her.
- Sherlock Holmes: In saving my life she conferred a value on it. It is a currency I do not know how to spend.
- Faith Smith: [upon seeing Mycroft's helicopter] Oh, big brother is watching you.
- Sherlock Holmes: Literally.
- Dr. John Watson: I cheated on you, Mary. There's a woman on the bus, and I had a plastic daisy in my hair. I'd been playing with Rosie, and this girl just smiled at me. That's all it was. It was a smile. We texted, constantly. You want to know when? Every time you left the room - that's when. When you were feeding our daughter. When you were stopping her from crying - that's when. And that's all it was. Just texting. But I wanted more. And do you know something? I still do. I'm not the man you thought I was. I'm not that guy. I never could be. But that's the point.
- [his voice breaks]
- Dr. John Watson: That's the whole point. Who you thought I was... is the man who I want to be.
- Mary Watson: Well then... John Watson... Get the hell on with it.
- [John starts crying]
- Mrs. Hudson: I'm the widow of a drug dealer, I own property in central London, and, for the last bloody time, John, I'm not your housekeeper.
- Sherlock Holmes: There must be something comforting about the number three. People always give up after three.
- Mycroft Holmes: What's he doing? Why is he just wandering about like a fool?
- Lady Smallwood: She died, Mycroft. He's probably still in shock.
- Mycroft Holmes: Everybody dies. It's the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do. How can it still come as a surprise to people?
- Policeman: Do you have *any* idea what speed you were going at?
- Mrs. Hudson: Well, of course not! I was on the phone.
- Sherlock Holmes: You know, it's not my place to say, but it was just texting. People text. Even I text. Her, I mean. Woman. Bad idea. Try not to, but, you know, sometimes...
- [pauses]
- Sherlock Holmes: It's not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling from time to time that we might all just be human.
- Dr. John Watson: Even you?
- Sherlock Holmes: No. Even you.
- [compiled from several bits between other scenes]
- Mary Watson: If you're watching this, I'm... probably dead. I'm giving you a case, Sherlock. Might be the hardest case of your career. When I'm... gone, if I'm gone, I need you to do something for me. Save John Watson. Save him, Sherlock. Save him. Don't think anyone else is going to save him, because there isn't anyone. It's up to you. Save him. But I do think you're going to need a little bit of help with that, because you're not exactly good with people, so here's a few things you need to know about the man we both love - and more importantly, what you're going to need to do to save him: John Watson never accepts help. Not from anyone. Not ever. But here's the thing - he never refuses it. So, here's what you are going to do. You can't save John, because he won't let you. He won't allow himself to be saved. The only way to save John is to make him save you. Go to hell, Sherlock. Go right into hell and make it look like you mean it. Go and pick a fight with a bad guy. Put yourself in harm's way. If he thinks you need him, I swear... he will be there.
- Dr. John Watson: [looking at needle marks on Sherlock's arm] Yeah, well, they're real enough, I suppose.
- Sherlock Holmes: Why would I be faking?
- Dr. John Watson: Because you're a liar. You lie all the time. It's like your mission.
- Sherlock Holmes: I have been many things, John, but when have I ever been a malingerer?
- Dr. John Watson: You pretended to be dead for two years!
- Sherlock Holmes: Apart from that!
- Dr. John Watson: I mean, obviously, "normal" and "fine" are both relative terms when it comes to Sherlock and Mycroft.
- Sherlock Holmes: As I think I have explained to you *many* times before, romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people...
- Dr. John Watson: [interrupts] Would complete you as a human being.
- Sherlock Holmes: That doesn't even mean anything.
- Dr. John Watson: Just text her. Phone her. Do something while there's still a chance, because that chance doesn't last forever. Trust me, Sherlock, it's gone before you know it. Before you know it!
- Sherlock Holmes: [on John's therapist] Who's this one? Is this a new person? I'm against new people.
- Dr. John Watson: [after his therapist mentions the secret sibling of Sherlock] How did you know about that? I didn't tell you that.
- Therapist: You must have done.
- Dr. John Watson: I really didn't.
- Therapist: Well, maybe Sherlock told me.
- Dr. John Watson: Wait, you've met Sherlock exactly once, in this room. He was off his head.
- Therapist: Oh no, no. I-I met him before that.
- Dr. John Watson: When?
- Therapist: We spent a night together. It was lovely. We had chips.
- [repeating her previous lines]
- Therapist: You're not what I expected, Mr Holmes. You're... nicer.
- [starts smiling]
- Culverton Smith: If the Queen was a serial killer, I'd be the first person she'd tell. We have that kind of friendship.
- Culverton Smith: What's the very worst thing you can do... to your very best friends?
- Ivan: Something on your mind?
- Culverton Smith: Yes, Simon. Oh yes.
- Ivan: Whatever you tell us, stays in this room. I think I speak for everyone.
- Faith: Well, what is the worst thing you could do?
- Culverton Smith: Tell them your darkest secret. Because... if you tell them, and they decide they'd rather not know, you can't take it back. You can't unsay it. Once you've opened your heart, you can't close it again.
- Sherlock Holmes: [talking about Irene] Oh, for God's sakes, I don't text her back!
- Dr. John Watson: [laughing] Why not? You bloody moron! She's out there, she likes you and she's alive! And do you have the first idea how lucky you are?
- Therapist: Amazing, the times a man doesn't really look at your face. Oh, you can hide behind a sexy smile or a walking cane. Or just be a therapist talking about you... *all* the time.
- Lady Smallwood: Here.
- Mycroft Holmes: What's this?
- Lady Smallwood: My number.
- Mycroft Holmes: I already have your number.
- Lady Smallwood: My *private* number.
- Mycroft Holmes: Why would I need that?
- Lady Smallwood: I don't know. Maybe you'd like a drink sometime.
- Mycroft Holmes: Of what?
- Lady Smallwood: Up to you. Call me.
- Sherlock Holmes: It's okay.
- Dr. John Watson: It's not okay.
- Sherlock Holmes: No... but it is what it is.
- Mrs. Hudson: Is Molly the right person to be doing medicals? She's more used to dead people. It's bound to lower your standards.
- Culverton Smith: Murder is a very difficult addiction to manage. People don't realize how much work goes into it. You have to be careful, but if you're-you're rich or famous and loved, it's amazing what people are prepared to ignore. There's always someone desperate about to go missing, and no one wants to suspect murder if it's easier to suspect something else. I just have to ration myself, choose the right heart to stop.
- Sherlock Holmes: I'm worried about you, Molly, you seem very stressed.
- Molly Hooper: I'm stressed, you're dying!
- Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, well, I'm ahead, then. Stress can ruin every day of your life. Dying can only ruin one.
- Sherlock Holmes: [embracing John] It's OK.
- Dr. John Watson: [weeping] No, it's not.
- Sherlock Holmes: No. But it is what it is.
- Eurus: I'm Eurus.
- Dr. John Watson: Eurus?
- Eurus: Silly name, isn't it? Greek. Means the East Wind. My parents loved silly names. Like Eurus, or Mycroft, or Sherlock.
- [sees Watson is baffled]
- Eurus: Oh, look at him. Didn't it ever occur to you, not even once, that Sherlock's secret brother might just be Sherlock's secret sister?
- Dr. John Watson: Well, how is he?
- Sherlock Holmes: [answering for Molly] Basically fine.
- Molly Hooper: I've seen healthier people on the slab.
- Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, but, to be fair, you work with murder victims. They tend to be quite young.
- Molly Hooper: Not funny.
- Sherlock Holmes: Little bit funny.
- Molly Hooper: If you keep taking what you're taking at the rate you're taking it, you've got weeks.
- Sherlock Holmes: Exactly, weeks! Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
- Sherlock Holmes: Do you know why I'm going to take your case? Because of the one impossible thing you said.
- Faith: What impossible thing?
- Sherlock Holmes: You said your life turned on one word.
- Faith: Yes. The name of the person my father wanted to kill.
- Sherlock Holmes: That's the impossible thing. Just that, right there.
- Faith: What's impossible?
- Sherlock Holmes: Names are not one word. They're always at least two. Sherlock Holmes. Faith Smith. Santa Claus. Winston Churchill. Napoleon Bonaparte... Actually, just Napoleon would do.
- Faith: Or Elvis.
- Sherlock Holmes: Well, I think we can rule both of them out as targets.
- Sherlock Holmes: Why do you do it?
- Culverton Smith: Why do I kill? It's-it's not about hatred, or... or revenge. I'm not a dark person. Killing human beings...
- [starts chuckling]
- Culverton Smith: ...it just makes me... ah, incredibly happy. You know, in-in-in films, when-when you see dead people pretending to be dead, and it's just living people lying down? Well, that's not what dead people look like. Dead people... look like things. I like to make people into things. Then you can own them.
- Culverton Smith: Oh... no, I-I'll lay it out for you. There are two possible explanations for what's going on here. Either I'm a "serial killer" or Sherlock Holmes is off his tits on drugs, hm? Delusional paranoia about a... a public personality. That's not so special. It's not even new.
- Culverton Smith: [turns to Sherlock] I think you need to, uh, tell your faithful little friend how you're wasting his time because you're too high to know what's real anymore.
- Therapist: You are holding yourself to an unreasonable standard.
- Dr. John Watson: No, I'm failing to.
- Culverton Smith: Please, please, no violence. Thank you Doctor Watson. I don't think he's a danger any more. Leave him be.
- Sherlock Holmes: No, no it's OK, let him do what he wants, he's entitled. I killed his wife.
- Dr. John Watson: Yes you did.
- Dr. John Watson: It's for a case, you said.
- Sherlock Holmes: Yep.
- Dr. John Watson: What sort of case?
- Sherlock Holmes: Too big and dangerous for any sane individual to get involved in.
- Dr. John Watson: You're trying to put me off?
- Sherlock Holmes: God, No. I'm trying to recruit you.
- [He smiles]
- [first lines]
- Therapist: Tell me about your morning. Start from the beginning.
- Dr. John Watson: I woke up.
- Therapist: How did you sleep?
- Dr. John Watson: I didn't. I don't.
- Therapist: You just said you woke up.
- Dr. John Watson: I stopped lying down.
- Sherlock Holmes: I have to drink a cup of tea.
- Wiggins: This cup of tea... code?
- Sherlock Holmes: It's a cup of tea.
- Wiggins: Because you might prefer... some...
- [air quotes]
- Wiggins: ...coffee.
- Mary Watson: [to John] You are done with the world being explained to you by a man. Well, who isn't?
- Mrs. Hudson: Anything you need, anytime: just ask. Anything at all.
- Dr. John Watson: Thank you.
- [walks out and turns back]
- Dr. John Watson: Uh... sometimes, can I borrow your car?
- Mrs. Hudson: No.
- Sherlock Holmes: They dropped me. Twice!
- Mrs. Hudson: And you know why they dropped you dear? Because, they know you.