- BoJack Horseman: [about Todd's rock opera] That was, and I don't say this lightly, worse than a hundred September 11ths.
- Todd Chavez: [sadly] Yeah, you're right. This was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking.
- [jovially]
- Todd Chavez: Well, guess I'll give up forever.
- BoJack Horseman: That's the spirit!
- Diane Nguyen: Mr. Peanutbutter is nice to me! He's kind and he's generous and he's loyal.
- Wayne: You know what your problem is? You're trying to be a Zelda but you're so obviously a Zoe.
- Diane Nguyen: Ugh! Don't label me. You don't know who I am.
- Wayne: You can live your happy Zelda life in this happy Zelda town and pretend you're a happy Zelda, but I know you, and this isn't you. People don't change, Diane, not really. Mr. Peanutbutter's a Zelda. He's happy and he's carefree and he's loving, but you and me, we're Zoes... We're Zoes, Diane. We're cynical and we're sad and we're mean. There's a darkness inside you, and you can bury it deep in burritos as big as your head, but someday soon, that darkness is gonna come out, and when it does, I want you to call me.
- BoJack Horseman: A better man than you once said, and I quote, "It's the responsibility of little guys like you to be looking out for big shots like me."
- Todd Chavez: Who said that?
- BoJack Horseman: I don't know, Jesus, Ghandi, Malcolm-Jamal Warner. Clean up your shit!
- Virgil van Cleef: Fool me once, shame on you, but teach a man to fool me, and I'll be fooled for the rest of my life.